“There are some four letter words that hold more value than others.” – Beverley Pugh

There are many four letter words in the English language. I know because I have used them all. There is, however, one that has grown in meaning and value over the years…and that word is LOVE. This word gets thrown around a lot. I would like to take it to the core level.

“All love is self-love.” That is a rather strong statement. I remember hearing it years ago and reacting to it. I thought it was a very narcissistic way of looking at love. I loved my dog, but what does that have to do with self-love?

Now, over the years of life experience, I totally get it.

Love has many nuances. Some of us feel love. Some of us want love from others. It serves many purposes. It can have the spin of:  I need to be loved in order to feel lovable. I need to be loved in order to feel safe. I need to feel loved in order to feel important, or that I matter. I certainly went through a period where my self-validation was dependent on external circumstances…like friends or work or performance. I sometimes fall back there. To some people love becomes a way of defining ourselves and our value.

So what have I learned about love over the years and am still learning? Love is a formless aspect of ourselves. We have aspects of who we are that have form…our nose, our ears etc. But love is formless. It emanates from within us. When I look at my children I feel such love – a flow that starts from within me. It’s a gift we are born with.

We humans have given so many spins and meaning to the word love…proof of our safety, of our value, of our importance, etc.

When I experience it in its purest form, it is simply this beautiful warm energy that flows within me. Usually in appreciation for something or someone. It is generated from within. I gaze at the ocean, the birds, the trees, and I take time to breathe and notice. That inner smile begins within me.

I know as a parent my children know and feel when I am radiating love, so to speak. I am not talking the story or needing the story. I am just feeling love and radiating it. I am sure that over the years they have picked up on it. It’s another way for them to experience love – to see and feel as a state of being rather than something you get from someone else.

I know than when I am consciously aware of feeling love, I can hold compassion for myself…and forgiveness and inspiration. It is all in there. We come with the package…like it’s waiting for us to open it.

What would life be like without the feeling and thought that we have to prove ourselves; prove our value? How much more relaxed and less fearful we would be. Our creativity would flow more easily without the worry and angst.

This February give yourself a Valentines card. That is what I am doing. I am worth it! How about you?