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Jun
15
2016

We Parents

“It is through honouring ourselves, that we teach our children how to honour themselves.” ~ Bev Pugh

father sonMother’s Day has passed and Father’s Day is soon coming.

Over the years I have gained a great deal of experience and wisdom about how to celebrate Parent’s Day. This is what I have learned.

Initially as a Mom, I celebrated my kids on Mother’s Day because I was so excited to be a Mom. Then, I remember taking myself for granted and not really celebrating myself as a parent…a bouquet of flowers or chocolates was “enough”. Then our family went the commercialization route where money was spent on all of us going out for dinner.

Over the past years I have switched direction again, and asked both my kids on Mother’s Day to do two things: 1) To write at least one paragraph to me on how they feel about me as a parent. 2) To put time aside for me and them to play, doing whatever I choose.

We have been doing this for abut five years now. I love it!!

I don’t support the commercialization of Mother’s and Father’s Day, but I do support the acknowledgment of myself as a Mom…a formal acknowledgment. I get lots of hugs and thank yous throughout the year, but it feels good to have a day where I am truly celebrated.

All of us put our hearts and soul into being parents. It is important to step back and acknowledge ourselves. I know some of you think that you made too many mistakes to be deserving of a celebration. The vast majority of us parents do the best we can with who we are at the time. To fall into the ‘I could have done it better’ model is unfair to ourselves. We are all a work in progress. That is life.

I could say, “If I knew then what I know now, I would have done it differently.”, but that is not a productive way of moving forward. We can’t use our learning to beat ourselves up. Learn and celebrate. That is how we move forward.

On Mother’s Day I want to celebrate myself as well as teach my kids how to acknowledge and celebrate a parent…from their hearts.

This Mother’s Day they wanted to take me out for lunch. The cost of Mother’s Day buffet was horrendous. They couldn’t afford that. So we did a wonderful, simple brunch and then went plant shopping together. It was a lot of fun.

Another year they helped me clean my closet. Another year we went dog walking, then lunch and then shopping for me. That was quite hilarious!

I love the cards with handwritten paragraphs on how much I mean to them. It is a heartfelt experience for all of us.

Start early and set the tempo for celebration in a way that has meaning for you. It warms everyone’s hearts, and teaches us so much abut the importance of how to honour one another.

How good is this??!! I applaud us all!

Tags: Bev Pugh, celebrate, feel, hearts, honour, kids, learning, life
Posted in Love | No Comments »

Jun
15
2016

Father’s Day

Father's DayBy A North Vancouver Dad

As a Dad, I am against a special day for parents. I want the emphasis to stay on the year rather than one day. I don’t want our kids to learn that expressing their love happens once a year via a hallmark card or a dinner out. I would like to feel the expression of love and appreciation all year round.

 

From A Kid’s Perspective

By Bev’s Daughter

As a daughter, I don’t like the commercialization of Parents’ Days. My parents taught me not to just throw money at it. I like the idea of a Mother or Father choosing what they want to do. The Kids don’t choose, but we give of our time and we write an honest letter.

Tags: appreciation, father's day, feel, honest, love, money, time
Posted in Love | No Comments »

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

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If I feel funky, I know that I have closed down in some way. I probably reacted to one of my thoughts, or to what someone was saying. I actually ask or direct my heart energy to open again by saying this out loud: "My heart is open in the front and the back, and my mind in one with my heart. My heart is connected to the highest part of me." I imagine something I love - often swimming in the ocean - and I savour the love of it so I can feel my heart open again. I have turned my focus to it, and directed my heart energy to open. I do this before I begin an activity, or see anyone that for some reason feel I may be reactive towards. A tip: I have been known to do it in the bathroom when I am taking a break from dynamics, and I come out feeling more open and wiser. This works! The bathroom is a great place to bring yourself back into balance!!

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My daughter, Trinity, attended her first Children’s Empowerment Workshop and she loved it! It has helped her deal with some of the real anxieties that all children go through - from the not so nice kid at school, to the imagination that runs away with her at night time, when we are getting ready for bed.

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About Beverley

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

Contact

Telephone:
604-925-1513
Email:
bev@beverleypugh.com
Location:
120-1451 Marine Drive
West Vancouver, BC
V7T 1B8
Canada

Disclaimer: The information presented on this site about various psychological conditions, is of a general nature and is not a substitute for an assessment by a competent therapist and/or medical professional. If you believe that you or an important person in your life is in need of an intervention please seek qualified help as soon as possible.

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