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Jan
12
2016

What Do You Stand For?

courage“Our true legacy is how we live our lives…not what we leave.” ~ Anonymous

This was a tough newsletter for me to write because once I wrote down what I stand for, four days later I realized “no, that’s not it.” I rewrote it four times! This simple inquiry really got a rumble going. So, this is it for now.

What we stand for is different than what our goals are. For me, what I stand for emanates from the deepest part of me. It is how I desire to be rather than to have.

When I became a parent my life changed overnight. It became really important to me that I gave these beautiful children a full spectrum of opportunity to value themselves, value others, and live a life to their fullest potential. I wanted to somehow contribute to that.

But how do we do that as parents?

It is one thing to ask ourselves, “What do I want to teach my children?”, and it’s quite another to ask, “What do I stand for?”. For me, this is one of those ‘going deep questions’; an inquiry that is useful for all of us. We all need clarity within ourselves, so our choices and behaviour can reflect that clarity.

What we stand for is different than what our goals are. For me, it is a vision that I hold that goes beyond goals and desires.

I stand for:

  • Courage
  • Compassion
  • Highest Potential
  • Service
  • Gratitude

Each one of these words is a way of life; a way of being and doing.

Courage to me is the courage to move forward outside of my comfort zone where there is attachment and familiarity. It is moving into the new, into what I truly desire for myself. It involves walking through fears. Perseverance and commitment are important friends during this phase.

Compassion is valuing myself wholeheartedly and valuing others. Compassion starts with self-compassion. As I dare to move forward, I hold compassion for myself rather than judgement. I hold this way of being for others.

Highest Potential is an integral part of what I stand for with myself and for others. That is why I love my work. My wish is that I am fully integrated and the highest part of me is what directs me. When we argue with different parts of ourselves, it drains a lot of energy. Therefore, we are not being integrated. We are scattered and we exhaust ourselves. Full Integration and Highest Potential. That is what I stand for.

Service is important to me because in my heart, I believe in community. We all need the support of one another.

Gratitude is the cornerstone of how I look at life. For me, it is a way of being rather than a feeling I have when I receive what I’m asking for. Gratitude keeps my heart open and when my heart is open, I grow as I keep experiencing new forms of awareness in each moment.

I once heard someone say, “How I participate in every part of life determines its value.” So true!

In this early part of 2016, reflect on what you stand for. This is our foundation from which we can move forward. This is what we pass on to our children. In our dense consumer driven world, it is easy to spend the whole time swimming in the waters of buying more things.

We often think of legacy as to what things we are leaving. For our loved ones, legacy is much vaster than that, and far more powerful.

I know for myself becoming a parent was the best thing that has ever happened to me. It lifted me to place of increased accountability to myself. This is not about judging ourselves in any way. This is about looking at life and living it from a place of inspiration and clarity.

Invite yourself to ponder. Ponder what you stand for. This is our true legacy.

Have a great year everyone!

Tags: behaviour, being, Beverley Pugh, commitment, compassion, courage, potential, service
Posted in awareness, Choice, Feeling Gratitude, forgiveness, Gentleness, Health and Happiness | 12 Comments »

Apr
14
2015

Humility

April NewsletterHumility…..this is where our power lives” ~ Bev Pugh

I am thrilled to be writing about this! For me, humility carries the essence of true self-empowerment.

It is an aspect of us that is not talked about a lot. But it is important for all of us to do our own understanding and self-inventory around this one. As I focus on my self-growth, humility is an aspect my being that I keep close tabs on…it tells me where I am at.

Reflect on when you find yourself competitive with others, or wanting to look better than someone else. Reflect on when you are wanting someone else’s approval. The braggart in us can come out, or we can overextend ourselves because we are trying to impress someone, or we can just be a pain in the you know what. And then there are the moments for all of us where we can remember feeling humiliated.

I would describe humility as a quiet confidence – an ability to celebrate our gifts and accomplishments, but not to acquire outside approval or validation.

Many of us wants others to be impressed by who we are or what we can do. If people are impressed, it means we are a person of value. If we do not believe in our own value and feel disempowered, we often turn to wanting others approval or adoration as a means of feeling powerful. It is a false power because it is dependent on others people’s reactions.

Humility does not mean low self-esteem. It means the opposite. It holds the essence of believing in ourselves and our value…with all our strengths and vulnerabilities. It’s called being human. As we practice humility, we don’t use self-judgment as a way of assessing ourselves…we turn to compassion and self-forgiveness.

The opposite of humility is often described as pride. That means our ego is hungry for other people to see us different than how we feel about ourselves. Again it is false power. For many of us, while growing up we experienced humiliation. I know I did. With that comes the fear of humiliation. We begin to low ball ourselves for fear of failure and mistakes, or we high ball ourselves from arrogance.

Humility doesn’t mean we hide or are quiet or don’t celebrate ourselves. It means the power we have is within us, and we move through life from that inside place rather from worry about the outside.

I would describe humility as a virtue. It is a virtue that I hold in my awareness. Every day I check myself to see how I am doing with this one

It is a great way of catching yourself in moments when you stepped away from believing in yourself and moved into being needy on some level. When this happens to me, I pull out my journal and I write. I write until I’ve got it. I write how I was feeling, what triggered me, the behaviour that I want to extinguish, and then I sit with the feeling of being enough. If my personality has forgotten that feeling, I remind myself by sitting with it. I recall a moment when I felt enough, and I go to that feeling and fill myself with it. I can then step into humility from a place of self-power.

I invite you to build some muscle around this one. It is a wonderful foundation from which to live your life.

Celebrate yourself from the inside out rather than the outside in.

 

Tags: approval, awareness, behaviour, celebrate, feeling, foundation, humility, overextend, power, self reflection, self-empowerment, virtue
Posted in awareness, change, Creating What You Want, healing, Health and Happiness, Inspirational, Self Growth | 4 Comments »

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

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Mastery Practice Tool

Breathing in Silence

Create a quiet moment and set a little timer for 2 or 3 minutes. Then sit and focus on the sound of silence. You will hear many inside and outside noises, but your focus is on the sound of silence. Notice the “noise” outside and inside, but allow yourself to simply acknowledge them and stay with your intention of focusing on silence. Notice how the silence sounds to you. Slowly over time you can increase the time you’d like to do this.

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My daughter, Trinity, attended her first Children’s Empowerment Workshop and she loved it! It has helped her deal with some of the real anxieties that all children go through - from the not so nice kid at school, to the imagination that runs away with her at night time, when we are getting ready for bed.

She practices her rooting and the different breathing techniques that she has learned, and has become stronger and more confident in dealing with different situations.

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About Beverley

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

Contact

Telephone:
604-925-1513
Email:
bev@beverleypugh.com
Location:
120-1451 Marine Drive
West Vancouver, BC
V7T 1B8
Canada

Disclaimer: The information presented on this site about various psychological conditions, is of a general nature and is not a substitute for an assessment by a competent therapist and/or medical professional. If you believe that you or an important person in your life is in need of an intervention please seek qualified help as soon as possible.

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