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Jan
09
2017

2017 – My New Years Gift to YOU

bear humour

One Bear to another Bear: “His name is Bradshaw. He says he understands I came from a singe parent den with inadequate role models. He senses that my dysfunctional behaviour is shame based and codependent and he urges me to let my inner cub heal… I say we eat him.”
~ A cartoon I enjoyed while working in Japan. I love learning through laughter!!

Happy New Year everyone! I like the opportunity to start a New Year because it gives me the chance to do a personal review and reassess my accountability to myself. It’s like someone has blown a whistle and said “time out”, so I take some time to reflect.

I’d like to share one of my all time favourite quotes. I have carried this around with me for many years. Here it is:

“To know and not to do…is not yet to know.” ~ A Zen Saying

The quote reminds me that I already ‘know’ (on some level) and it challenges me to move into more integrity with myself. It is a humbling statement of wisdom.

This quote is a great navigational tool. Professionally and personally I have been described as having a good deal of wisdom, but I can do really dumb things. We all can. We forget what we know. The number of times in counselling sessions when I have heard people say “I know. I know.”, but their behaviour is different than what they know. I include myself in this. Our habits of reacting are strong. To erase them or weaken them, we have to be strong in our commitment to ourselves.

What I really love about this quote is it brings us to the truth of what is going on. We can all talk a good line, but are we living it? For me this quote asks me to review what I know is ‘right’ for me, and that takes me to a place of self inquiry. By self inquiry I mean I ask myself, “Bev, how are you really doing?”

As I respond to this self inquiry, I first let go of any blame I am carrying toward other people. All finger pointing is not where truth lies. I also step away from blaming circumstances or situations for any distress I feel. These are all not core issues. As you have heard me say in newsletters before, I am passionate about true self growth, not band aid approaches.

Band aids keep us in the same cycles, but give us temporary relief.

The core to self growth is to stay focused on yourself; to move into the area of self “response…ability”. It starts and ends with us – our thinking, our perceptions, our values, our clarity, and our willingness to take ourselves on.

2017 is about our commitment to ourselves. Remember: “To know and not to do… is not yet to know.”

What do you want to dig deeper and uproot this year?

Happy New Year everyone!

Tags: Beverley Pugh, blame, challenge, change, commitment, habit, inspiration, integrity, self-growth, truth, wisdom
Posted in change, Self Growth | 2 Comments »

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

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Choose Your Dominant Thought

We have been given a subconscious mind, a conscious mind, and free choice. We have the resources we need to be happy and healthy regardless of what is gong on. Choose a dominant thought that holds the meaning of what is really important to you. When you say it, look for a light and expanding feeling. It will feel like it elevates you. This is not a mental exercise, it is a feeling exercise using words for increased awareness. Keep this dominant thought at the forefront of your mind. If a negative thought comes in, immediately return to your dominant thought. With practice you will get faster at shifting your awareness. This is very powerful.

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Our ability, as parents, to support our children to thrive in stressful situations is becoming more and more important. Children need very specific tools in their self regulation 'tool kits' that they can draw upon to support their success, and trusted adults to coach them in their use. But what are these tools and how to we teach them effectively to our kids?

Thankfully, there is Beverley Pugh! Bev takes a curious and calm approach to supporting children and parents with this journey. She is passionately invested in teaching parents and children ways to reduce anxiety and approach life positively and confidently. Bev is a master of her craft - she draws on years of her own experience as a parent and counsellor to work effectively and respectfully with children and their parents. I have thoroughly enjoyed Bev's recent workshops for parents and children and recommend them to anyone willing to explore specific strategies to help their children thrive at home, at school and in their community.

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About Beverley

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

Contact

Telephone:
604-925-1513
Email:
bev@beverleypugh.com
Location:
120-1451 Marine Drive
West Vancouver, BC
V7T 1B8
Canada

Disclaimer: The information presented on this site about various psychological conditions, is of a general nature and is not a substitute for an assessment by a competent therapist and/or medical professional. If you believe that you or an important person in your life is in need of an intervention please seek qualified help as soon as possible.

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