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Jul
11
2016

A Month with No Story

“My definition of a holiday: A mind with no story. Now that’s a holiday!” ~ Bev Pugh

forest

I love the month of July… our official summer holidays! There is an old saying that every month can be a holiday. When I give that possibility some thought, this is what I come up with: having a mind that doesn’t constantly run “stories” in my head. Can you imagine what it would be like to have a “story less” mind? That would be a true holiday. The problem with going away for a holiday, is that we take our minds with us – and they are still running opinions.

So what would it be like to live a month with quiet, rather than stories in our head? Actually, what would it be like to live a day or a few minutes with no stories in our head? What a great holiday that would be.

Every once in a while my mind gets too opinionated, so I set my timer for 2 minutes, sit looking at a tree or flower, and direct my awareness to no “story” in my head.

What do I mean when I use the word story? We all have opinions and judgements about what is happening in our lives, what has happened or what will happen. These opinions can be about anything and everything – what is fair or unfair, our hopes and dreams, our regrets, other people’s lives, our fears, our judgements – you name it. Our mind has a story to tell.

Our minds often run reruns of life or fears of the future. Change is always happening, and change can be tough on us humans as we are creatures of habit. There is so much for the mind to chew on!!! Our mind can have full time employment running opinions.

We often tell ourselves that we are waiting until something outside of ourselves changes, and then our mind will be quiet. But the reality is that our mind is a chewer, and it will find something to chew on.

As many of you know, one of my favourite hobbies is hiking with the dogs. Sometimes, before I walk in the mountains, I gather my focus and awareness and place it on experiencing a hike with a mind that is running no story. If my mind is kicking up and very active, I say to myself “no story” and I hold firm. There are no stories allowed, and I am standing firm on a “story less” mind. Sometimes I say “delete” when my mind has been chattering, meaning I am deleting the story, and then I go back to inviting the mind to have no story.

After some self-correcting every few seconds, I find my mind starts to get the gist of the moment, and a growing stillness comes in. I begin to see the trees, the rocks, the roots and everything else that is around me. My nervous system has nothing to react to but the beauty I’m surrounded by. To me, this is a holiday!!!! And hopefully a way of life as I continue to practice.

The say reality is what we think. Most of the time what we are thinking is old coming from our old core beliefs. A great deal of our thinking is repetitive and covers the present moment.

Remember that one of the greatest gifts we have been given is choice…. choose to have a mind with no story running. Keep deleting thoughts that are repetitive worries, fears or opinions and substitute the phrase… a month with no story. Give yourself a break and a rest.

I am becoming very directive with my mind. It is not in charge…I am!! So July holds a sense of beauty, peace, and time off from thinking.

Enjoy!

Tags: choose, dreams, fears, judgement, lives, mind, opinions, present, running, story, think
Posted in Choice | No Comments »

Apr
04
2016

My Birthday Gift to You

“Do or do not. There is no try.” ~ Yoda in Star Wars

Dominant ThoughtsYes, it’s my birthday this month! I love my birthday because I am the center of my own attention…in a positive way!!!  And it’s cause for celebration! It’s a great feeling to truly celebrate ourselves.

As I reflect on my growth throughout the years, I would like to share with you one of the most foundational pieces of learning that I have experienced. It’s a phrase that I quietly say to myself. But first let me tell you why it is important to me, and probably to you as well.

I grew up in a family where negative thinking was a way of life, and a way of fending off the worst things that could happen. The belief was that if you anticipate the worst by thinking negatively, then you protect yourself from the hurt you feel if something “bad” happens. You don’t hurt as much because you were emotionally preparing for it. This was not verbally said in my family, but I could feel it as a way of surviving and coping.

In my years of psychology, I learned that these negative thoughts come from the primal or instinctual part of the brain. It’s a safety mechanism. It’s a hard wiring. It’s not that it is bad or wrong. It has a place in our lives, but we were not meant to live our lives from this place or part of our brain. When we do, we recreate our past in our present. For many of us it has to do with the theme of not being good enough. Either we feel we are not good enough, or each situation or moment is not good enough. Lack is a common theme for many of us.

Since I grew up in a family who would anticipate bad things, coping techniques like control or avoidance became strong. Controlling can be a way of trying to make bad things not happen.

The second major thing I learned in psychology, was that my conscious mind is my ticket to happiness and freedom. What I am not conscious of, I can’t change. What I am conscious of, I can choose to change. Our conscious mind carries the ticket of choice. Of course a large part of counselling is knowing ways of unlocking the subconscious, so the conscious mind has more insight and choice.

So what is the phrase that has helped me navigate through life…more than navigate, flourish?

I began with the understanding that “what we focus on expands”. So true!!!

For some time that was my focus and my mantra, so to speak. It is very powerful in that our experience of life changes depending on what we are focusing on. Thank heavens for the conscious mind because it can choose our focus! If our subconscious is in charge, it may focus on negatives and lack…it holds a filing cabinet of doubts, fears and traumas. It is important we stay awake and aware of what we are thinking. We can teach ourselves how to observe our thoughts rather than be run by them.

Over time I began to develop a phrase to stay conscious. I began to quietly say to myself, “staying conscious”. What does consciousness mean to me? It means staying awake and connected to my wisdom and what I stand for. It means being present in every moment. It means seeing what is good in the moment, and feeling appreciation and gratitude for everything.

Over time I changed my heart filled mantra to “I am the highest consciousness” because I realized I wanted to live my life from an elevated consciousness. I found that just saying this phrase brought in a lot of energy and happiness because it put me in charge, rather than my thoughts.

It is important to understand that we can’t get rid of our negative thoughts. That is like trying to drain the ocean. There are times, through inquiry, that we can take the energy out of our thoughts by challenging them. There are other times where we have a habit going, and we need to shift our focus so that the thought weakens.

An essential piece of learning here is that we can choose our dominant thought, and that is extremely powerful. The dominant thought you choose is essential to your health and happiness. It determines how you feel and act in the moment. It determines your perception, and therefore your experiences in life.

I went dog walking yesterday and realized I was taking the world with me. I quietly said to myself, “I am my highest consciousness”. I said it over and over until that was my dominant thought, and then I loved my quiet walk. I had left the world behind me.

Enjoy April. And I will think of you as I eat cake…lots of it!!

Tags: Bev Pugh, brain, conscious, dominant, fears, focus, habit, happiness, mind, negative, positive, subconscious, thoughts
Posted in Choice, managing emotions | 12 Comments »

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

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Mastery Practice Tool

In your opinion, what is the worst thing you have ever done? Take some time to find that moment before you read on.

Now go back to what your beliefs or your thoughts were in that moment. Know that at that time, you believed them. They ‘ran’ you.

We all mean well. It is part of who we are. You acted that way because you truly believed the thoughts and beliefs.

Challenge them now to see if there is truth in those beliefs. Take your time. Many of our beliefs do not hold truth. Be grateful and smile because there is more clarity about how you don’t want to live, which means there is more insight on how you do want to live. This is a powerful lesson! Reset your compass, stay vigilant and see things shift for you.

Testimonial

Bev's Laughing and Breathing Belly Workshop for Children was one of the best I have attended. She has a gifted ability to gently connect with children and teach and share with them her techniques of belly breathing, rooting, mind vacations and laughter. These techniques soothe and calm them whenever they feel overwhelmed or anxious - be at school, home or before bed time. Whether you have an overwhelmed pre-schooler or a test-anxious pre-teen, Bev's approach works! I love that she gave parents the tools to model and share these fundamentals of meditation with their children. I would encourage families to take her course...your children will thank you and you will benefit from ways to keep yourself calm and allow wisdom in.

Farrah J. - Mother of 3, West Vancouver

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About Beverley

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

Contact

Telephone:
604-925-1513
Email:
bev@beverleypugh.com
Location:
120-1451 Marine Drive
West Vancouver, BC
V7T 1B8
Canada

Disclaimer: The information presented on this site about various psychological conditions, is of a general nature and is not a substitute for an assessment by a competent therapist and/or medical professional. If you believe that you or an important person in your life is in need of an intervention please seek qualified help as soon as possible.

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