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Jun
15
2016

We Parents

“It is through honouring ourselves, that we teach our children how to honour themselves.” ~ Bev Pugh

father sonMother’s Day has passed and Father’s Day is soon coming.

Over the years I have gained a great deal of experience and wisdom about how to celebrate Parent’s Day. This is what I have learned.

Initially as a Mom, I celebrated my kids on Mother’s Day because I was so excited to be a Mom. Then, I remember taking myself for granted and not really celebrating myself as a parent…a bouquet of flowers or chocolates was “enough”. Then our family went the commercialization route where money was spent on all of us going out for dinner.

Over the past years I have switched direction again, and asked both my kids on Mother’s Day to do two things: 1) To write at least one paragraph to me on how they feel about me as a parent. 2) To put time aside for me and them to play, doing whatever I choose.

We have been doing this for abut five years now. I love it!!

I don’t support the commercialization of Mother’s and Father’s Day, but I do support the acknowledgment of myself as a Mom…a formal acknowledgment. I get lots of hugs and thank yous throughout the year, but it feels good to have a day where I am truly celebrated.

All of us put our hearts and soul into being parents. It is important to step back and acknowledge ourselves. I know some of you think that you made too many mistakes to be deserving of a celebration. The vast majority of us parents do the best we can with who we are at the time. To fall into the ‘I could have done it better’ model is unfair to ourselves. We are all a work in progress. That is life.

I could say, “If I knew then what I know now, I would have done it differently.”, but that is not a productive way of moving forward. We can’t use our learning to beat ourselves up. Learn and celebrate. That is how we move forward.

On Mother’s Day I want to celebrate myself as well as teach my kids how to acknowledge and celebrate a parent…from their hearts.

This Mother’s Day they wanted to take me out for lunch. The cost of Mother’s Day buffet was horrendous. They couldn’t afford that. So we did a wonderful, simple brunch and then went plant shopping together. It was a lot of fun.

Another year they helped me clean my closet. Another year we went dog walking, then lunch and then shopping for me. That was quite hilarious!

I love the cards with handwritten paragraphs on how much I mean to them. It is a heartfelt experience for all of us.

Start early and set the tempo for celebration in a way that has meaning for you. It warms everyone’s hearts, and teaches us so much abut the importance of how to honour one another.

How good is this??!! I applaud us all!

Tags: Bev Pugh, celebrate, feel, hearts, honour, kids, learning, life
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Jun
15
2016

Father’s Day

Father's DayBy A North Vancouver Dad

As a Dad, I am against a special day for parents. I want the emphasis to stay on the year rather than one day. I don’t want our kids to learn that expressing their love happens once a year via a hallmark card or a dinner out. I would like to feel the expression of love and appreciation all year round.

 

From A Kid’s Perspective

By Bev’s Daughter

As a daughter, I don’t like the commercialization of Parents’ Days. My parents taught me not to just throw money at it. I like the idea of a Mother or Father choosing what they want to do. The Kids don’t choose, but we give of our time and we write an honest letter.

Tags: appreciation, father's day, feel, honest, love, money, time
Posted in Love | No Comments »

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Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

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Invite gentleness to be present for an entire day. Wear a colour, a ring, a shoe that reminds you of gentleness. Play music that allows you to change your breathing. Yes, you can still get everything done - just differently.

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Our ability, as parents, to support our children to thrive in stressful situations is becoming more and more important. Children need very specific tools in their self regulation 'tool kits' that they can draw upon to support their success, and trusted adults to coach them in their use. But what are these tools and how to we teach them effectively to our kids?

Thankfully, there is Beverley Pugh! Bev takes a curious and calm approach to supporting children and parents with this journey. She is passionately invested in teaching parents and children ways to reduce anxiety and approach life positively and confidently. Bev is a master of her craft - she draws on years of her own experience as a parent and counsellor to work effectively and respectfully with children and their parents. I have thoroughly enjoyed Bev's recent workshops for parents and children and recommend them to anyone willing to explore specific strategies to help their children thrive at home, at school and in their community.

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About Beverley

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

Contact

Telephone:
604-925-1513
Email:
bev@beverleypugh.com
Location:
120-1451 Marine Drive
West Vancouver, BC
V7T 1B8
Canada

Disclaimer: The information presented on this site about various psychological conditions, is of a general nature and is not a substitute for an assessment by a competent therapist and/or medical professional. If you believe that you or an important person in your life is in need of an intervention please seek qualified help as soon as possible.

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