“If we do what we’ve always done, we will be what we’ve always been.” – Said by a “smart person!” Beverley Pugh

Welcome to 2015! There are certain times of the year that invite reflection. This is one.

I offer you these thoughts for this coming year: when it comes to your relationship with your self-growth…are you COMMITTED or are you INTERESTED? What a big difference there is between them. I know that because I have been there.

What do I mean when I say “Committed” or “Interested”? One is a slow boat, and usually there are more ups and downs and suffering. This is “Interested”. The other can be like giving birth, but it is more direct and it is faster. This is “Committed”. Both involve moving forward. Where are you?

I consider myself an expert because I feel I have done them both, and I have witnessed it all! For years I thought I was ”Committed” to my self-growth. I did everything right, so to speak…meditation, goal setting, inspirational speakers and books, good intentions.

But in actuality I was still holding back. I was willing to go to a point, but not the whole enchilada…I was “kind of doing it and kind of growing”. Does this sound familiar? It’s like a game of bartering where by you take a lot of action, but still hold a few marbles back…the ones that would really hurt to let go of.

I had a very powerful session with a client who said the “marbles” he was holding back was his belief that if his wife were different, he would be a better man. He still blamed her for his temper. If it wasn’t for her “stuff”, he would be a much calmer person. Another person I worked with said she felt that she is doing many things to step out, but is still hanging onto her secret that she is flawed. This was a thought she believed and she saw truth in. Another individual believed it was simply too late. She had gone as far as she could, given her circumstances in life. She was interested in change, but could not be.

I understand all of this. I have been there. Now in all my growth, I am “Committed” to letting go of it all.

Counselling is one way to learn how to effectively challenge the deeper levels that keep us from going for what we really want. Yes, it can feel like a root canal. One client put it so well. “Can’t I hold back on the tough ones? When is enough, enough?” When you reach that beautiful place where you feel so much lighter; that feeling of breath and freedom – that is enough.

Some of us decide it’s too tough and instead we wait for external changes to happen. Well, you can wait a life time for that one.

I encourage all of you to sit quietly and listen to stillness and silence .Then ask yourself, “Am I “Committed” to my self-growth or am I “Interested”? Where do I stand right now?”

Really invite clarity to come in. Remember that both commitment and interest will take you on the path to self-growth. Commitment, to me, means uprooting something that has been holding you back. It is an internal job, something within you. It needs to be cleared before you are complete in who you are. Interested is growing and moving forward while hanging on to those tough bits that  just feel  too much to challenge.

This year keep this question in the forefront of your awareness

AM I COMMITTED OR AM I INTERESTED?

Decide how deep and free you want to be. If you hear a ‘but’ that you are compelled to follow, you are moving into “Interested”. “Committed” is giving it your ALL even when the ‘buts’ come in.

Both are good because they move us forward…how deep and at what pace is our free choice.