“Remember you are always practicing something….know what you are practicing!” – Bev Pugh

Throughout my life, I have learned so much about giving and receiving. It sounds so simple, but it has layers and layers of meaning. And to these layers there are very powerful ways of moving towards the person we truly want to be.

I used to think giving and receiving was a beautiful exchange. I still see it that way. However now, I am keenly aware of the nuances we attach to it.

Are we giving to receive? Are we giving so that the other person will like us? Are we looking for approval? Hoping to be noticed? What is our true agenda in giving? If we have an outcome attached to giving, then we are not really giving. We are manipulating. We are giving from our heads and not from our hearts. We actually lose our power this way. It is a way of trying to get power, but it’s not authentic power. It is a manipulation to try to make something happen.

My feeling is that when we give to get, we are feeling that we are not enough and we live life from that place. Giving can then become a tool to try and be enough.

I know there are numerous times when we all give just from the heart with no agenda, but to honour and acknowledge the other person. It is an important consciousness to have when we are giving. Ask yourself: what is your true intention? If there is an agenda other than honouring the other, then you have a great opportunity for some self-inquiry and some inside work.

Then there is receiving. How do you feel when you receive? Do you receive with total presence and gratitude? Do you feel honoured? Do you let yourself connect to how special you are and breathe in that truth? There can be times when we receive without really taking a deep breath and feeling how good it feels to be noticed and cared for. And then of course, there is the question. Do you notice and care for yourself by really feeling what it’s like to receive?

This holiday season, giving and receiving gives us a beautiful opportunity to be more present with ourselves and others. The spirit of the beautiful balance of giving and receiving is one of gratitude. In Buddhism they call it “Moderation”. In karmic language they speak of “what we give, we receive back”. For me it is a beautiful reminder of love, gratitude and being Present. It is an opportunity to do a check-in to what our intentions or motives are; to allow for some readjustment if needed. This is how we grow.

I hope you enjoy a non-consumer Christmas. We can give through kindness, a bowl of homemade soup, a wink, or by noticing someone. I was given a dollar recently by a stranger because I was at war with a meter. Someone took the time to stop and notice and care. I am looking for an opportunity to pass that spirit on to someone else.

There are so many ways to give. The integrity of giving and receiving brings a beautiful sense of well-being.

Happy Holidays to you all!