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Dec
04
2015

An Act of Integrity

self awareness“Remember you are always practicing something….know what you are practicing!” – Bev Pugh

Throughout my life, I have learned so much about giving and receiving. It sounds so simple, but it has layers and layers of meaning. And to these layers there are very powerful ways of moving towards the person we truly want to be.

I used to think giving and receiving was a beautiful exchange. I still see it that way. However now, I am keenly aware of the nuances we attach to it.

Are we giving to receive? Are we giving so that the other person will like us? Are we looking for approval? Hoping to be noticed? What is our true agenda in giving? If we have an outcome attached to giving, then we are not really giving. We are manipulating. We are giving from our heads and not from our hearts. We actually lose our power this way. It is a way of trying to get power, but it’s not authentic power. It is a manipulation to try to make something happen.

My feeling is that when we give to get, we are feeling that we are not enough and we live life from that place. Giving can then become a tool to try and be enough.

I know there are numerous times when we all give just from the heart with no agenda, but to honour and acknowledge the other person. It is an important consciousness to have when we are giving. Ask yourself: what is your true intention? If there is an agenda other than honouring the other, then you have a great opportunity for some self-inquiry and some inside work.

Then there is receiving. How do you feel when you receive? Do you receive with total presence and gratitude? Do you feel honoured? Do you let yourself connect to how special you are and breathe in that truth? There can be times when we receive without really taking a deep breath and feeling how good it feels to be noticed and cared for. And then of course, there is the question. Do you notice and care for yourself by really feeling what it’s like to receive?

This holiday season, giving and receiving gives us a beautiful opportunity to be more present with ourselves and others. The spirit of the beautiful balance of giving and receiving is one of gratitude. In Buddhism they call it “Moderation”. In karmic language they speak of “what we give, we receive back”. For me it is a beautiful reminder of love, gratitude and being Present. It is an opportunity to do a check-in to what our intentions or motives are; to allow for some readjustment if needed. This is how we grow.

I hope you enjoy a non-consumer Christmas. We can give through kindness, a bowl of homemade soup, a wink, or by noticing someone. I was given a dollar recently by a stranger because I was at war with a meter. Someone took the time to stop and notice and care. I am looking for an opportunity to pass that spirit on to someone else.

There are so many ways to give. The integrity of giving and receiving brings a beautiful sense of well-being.

Happy Holidays to you all!

Tags: approval, awareness, balance, being present, Bev Pugh, feeling, giving, gratitude, grow, intentions, motives
Posted in awareness, Feeling Gratitude, Gratitude, Happiness, Inspirational, Love, Self Growth | 2 Comments »

Feb
08
2014

Love

love“Who loves ya baby?” ~ Kojak

I grew up with the last name “Pugh”. That was a tough beginning. When I was growing up, the kids really teased me on that. They would hold their noses and pretend I was a skunk. We had a motorboat when I was growing up. We loved to water-ski. My dad got a skunk flag and put it on the boat. That sealed my fate. The teasing continued.

As I went through life, learning to love myself fully and unconditionally was my biggest wish, which then became my priority. I went through all of the stages and experiences of conditional love, with acceptance from others being the reward if I did “good”. It never occurred to me that I already had intrinsic value. I thought I had to do something, prove something, or improve something.

Most of us grow up with the message to be a “good” girl or boy, as if who we are is not good enough. Our parents meant well, but the message can be that we have to “do something” to be good; like cleaning our room, getting good grades, dressing right, being good at what we do. There can be a conditional underlay to all of this. As a child, we can feel that we have to please others in order to feel accepted. We can spend our lives trying to find or prove our worth.

We may be able to get the intellectual concept of loving ourselves, but how do we move to feeling it, to experiencing it? That’s where true growth lies. Just try one sincere moment with yourself where loving yourself matters more than anything else.

  • What would that look like?
  • What would that feel like?

Close your eyes for a moment and feel the love that you have for someone very special, then take a deep breath and imagine yourself receiving that same kind of love. That feeling of love comes from you to you. It’s not about “finding” love, it’s about “giving” love, and for that we start with fueling our own emotional tank for ourselves.

Maybe having the surname “Pugh” was the best thing that ever happened to me. It allowed me to find what’s good about me because it certainly wasn’t in the name!

Happy Valentine’s to us all.

Tags: Bev Pugh, feelings, giving, growth, love, ourselves, self
Posted in Health and Happiness, Love, Parenting, Self Growth | 2 Comments »

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

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Mastery Practice Tool

Self Friendship Building

One of the key ingredients in developing a true friendship with ourselves is asking these two core questions:

1. How do I feel right now?

2. What do I need right now?

Then take action on the truth.

It is important for all of us to build the muscle of being aware and knowing what we really feel and need. When we are approval seeking, we are eager to please and we don’t learn how to listen to our bodies, or develop our intuition.

Begin to notice when you are saying “yes” when you want to say “no”... when you are agreeing because your feel scared to take a stand. We are all worth honouring. You are worth honouring. Build your own personal power. This is where your happiness and contentment lies.

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Thankfully, there is Beverley Pugh! Bev takes a curious and calm approach to supporting children and parents with this journey. She is passionately invested in teaching parents and children ways to reduce anxiety and approach life positively and confidently. Bev is a master of her craft - she draws on years of her own experience as a parent and counsellor to work effectively and respectfully with children and their parents. I have thoroughly enjoyed Bev's recent workshops for parents and children and recommend them to anyone willing to explore specific strategies to help their children thrive at home, at school and in their community.

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About Beverley

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

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Telephone:
604-925-1513
Email:
bev@beverleypugh.com
Location:
120-1451 Marine Drive
West Vancouver, BC
V7T 1B8
Canada

Disclaimer: The information presented on this site about various psychological conditions, is of a general nature and is not a substitute for an assessment by a competent therapist and/or medical professional. If you believe that you or an important person in your life is in need of an intervention please seek qualified help as soon as possible.

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