“They lived and laughed and loved and left.” – James Joyce

Such sadness. My younger brother has passed away.

Feeling deep loss is a tough one for all of us.

There are layers and layers to grief. I’m experiencing them as I go through this. Grief also comes in waves. You’re good, and then a wave comes in and you are hit by it. Layers and waves…I’m experiencing all of them.

I’m consciously letting myself feel all the emotions. Part of me wants to just hold the bigger picture…the cyclical nature of every aspect of our life. But holding perspective doesn’t mean that there are not times when we feel raw, vulnerable, exposed and despairing.

So, as I go through these layers, I allow whatever is there to come to the surface so I can see what it is. Then I “be” with it.

Grief can’t go through us if we don’t feel it, acknowledge it, and allow it to be present. I know I am consciously breathing deeply as I invite it to go through me, rather than getting stuck.

And then there is the feeling that “nothing is the same”. It is strange, because life goes on around us as if nothing has changed.

However, everything has changed. There is a remembering of the way it was, a raw missing of the past, lots of emotions around change, and the attachment to the way it was. We go through them all.

I am also aware that grief signals a new beginning. A new book is beginning, so to speak. And that is the essence of life.

I’m remembering the importance of being gentle with ourselves when we are grieving. To grant ourselves the space to take care of our needs. And to listen to what we need.

Grief teaches us so much. Our loved ones move on, and this gives us the opportunity to look at life in so many new and different ways.

I’m remembering that life is about cycles – night and day – seasons, a minute, an hour…everything is a cycle. And so are we. Each cycle is completed.

My words of wisdom at this moment are this:

Everyone’s death is a big lesson for those of us left behind.

Stay growing!!