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Oct
14
2014

My Brother Died

Ocean Waves“They lived and laughed and loved and left.” – James Joyce

Such sadness. My younger brother has passed away.

Feeling deep loss is a tough one for all of us.

There are layers and layers to grief. I’m experiencing them as I go through this. Grief also comes in waves. You’re good, and then a wave comes in and you are hit by it. Layers and waves…I’m experiencing all of them.

I’m consciously letting myself feel all the emotions. Part of me wants to just hold the bigger picture…the cyclical nature of every aspect of our life. But holding perspective doesn’t mean that there are not times when we feel raw, vulnerable, exposed and despairing.

So, as I go through these layers, I allow whatever is there to come to the surface so I can see what it is. Then I “be” with it.

Grief can’t go through us if we don’t feel it, acknowledge it, and allow it to be present. I know I am consciously breathing deeply as I invite it to go through me, rather than getting stuck.

And then there is the feeling that “nothing is the same”. It is strange, because life goes on around us as if nothing has changed.

However, everything has changed. There is a remembering of the way it was, a raw missing of the past, lots of emotions around change, and the attachment to the way it was. We go through them all.

I am also aware that grief signals a new beginning. A new book is beginning, so to speak. And that is the essence of life.

I’m remembering the importance of being gentle with ourselves when we are grieving. To grant ourselves the space to take care of our needs. And to listen to what we need.

Grief teaches us so much. Our loved ones move on, and this gives us the opportunity to look at life in so many new and different ways.

I’m remembering that life is about cycles – night and day – seasons, a minute, an hour…everything is a cycle. And so are we. Each cycle is completed.

My words of wisdom at this moment are this:

Everyone’s death is a big lesson for those of us left behind.

Stay growing!!

 

Tags: awareness, Beverley Pugh, change, emotions, feelings, grief, growing, healing, sadness
Posted in healing, managing emotions | 32 Comments »

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

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Mastery Practice Tool

This is one of my favourites. I find it very rich.

 

Take a few moments to be quiet. Invite yourself to take a few big breaths, and release any tension. Now imagine someone or something that you love. I often imagine part of nature that moves me deeply. Feel the sensations start to move inside you; flowing inside you. You may feel warmth, or an inner smile, or an opening in your chest. You may feel expansive.

 

Allow the sensations and nuances to grow, and just silently observe and feel. Willingly invite these nuances to flow all through you as if they are filling you up. This is WHO YOU ARE. Stay in this beautiful place of self-expansion. This is self-love. This is unconditional love – freedom from the thinking mind stating the conditions upon which we are lovable. This place of beauty and appreciation is our natural state. Stay in this place for as long as you wish. You are feeding yourself, and remembering a deeper aspect of yourself that is not dependent on conditions. I practice this regularly. It is a very peaceful place to be.

Testimonial

Bev's Laughing and Breathing Belly Workshop for Children was one of the best I have attended. She has a gifted ability to gently connect with children and teach and share with them her techniques of belly breathing, rooting, mind vacations and laughter. These techniques soothe and calm them whenever they feel overwhelmed or anxious - be at school, home or before bed time. Whether you have an overwhelmed pre-schooler or a test-anxious pre-teen, Bev's approach works! I love that she gave parents the tools to model and share these fundamentals of meditation with their children. I would encourage families to take her course...your children will thank you and you will benefit from ways to keep yourself calm and allow wisdom in.

Farrah J. - Mother of 3, West Vancouver

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About Beverley

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

Contact

Telephone:
604-925-1513
Email:
bev@beverleypugh.com
Location:
120-1451 Marine Drive
West Vancouver, BC
V7T 1B8
Canada

Disclaimer: The information presented on this site about various psychological conditions, is of a general nature and is not a substitute for an assessment by a competent therapist and/or medical professional. If you believe that you or an important person in your life is in need of an intervention please seek qualified help as soon as possible.

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