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Apr
04
2017

Give Yourself a 5-Star Rating for Self-Forgiveness

Self-Forgiveness

“Living in the experience of freedom involves self-forgiveness.”  ~ Bev Pugh

What is the worst thing you have ever done? We all harbour our secrets, our moments of feeling ‘bad’ when we did something we think we shouldn’t have, or didn’t do something we think we should have. Self-forgiveness is one of the biggest aspects of our self-growth and personal expansion. We can lock ourselves away for a long time in very non-forgiving place. But this has the effect of depleting our energy, and taking a toll on our mood. It also limits our creativity.

This is my take on self-forgiveness.

Guilt, shame and remorse are very dense places to live. They lower our vibrancy in every way – health, personal power, relationships, creativity, joy – to name a few!

When you think of the worst thing you ever did, take a moment to explore the thoughts and beliefs that were behind it in that moment. Whether or not you believe them now, you believed them at that time. In that moment, that was who you were.

We have all been there. It is part of the human experience. I know I have certainly been there. There are many reasons why in that moment, we thought the way we did. It’s important to understand that you were in an honest place with yourself – albeit, a misdirected one. Now you are in a place where you can challenge those old thoughts and beliefs. You are in a different moment.

Challenging our thoughts and beliefs when we are living in a way we don’t like is crucial to our growth. And challenging without judgment is even more crucial.

To spend our valuable energy thinking about a past through our distorted thoughts and judgments doesn’t make sense. It is imagined, not real. We begin to see it how it ‘should have been’ and then that becomes real in our minds. It’s not. The only thing that was real was that we meant well. All of us mean well. If we screw up it isn’t because we didn’t mean well, we were in an honest place with ourselves, but as I said earlier… misdirected.

If you hurt someone, then make amends to them and yourself from your heart. You now have more clarity about how you don’t want to live. How valuable is that?

Once we have challenged a situation and our beliefs in a moment, those teaching moments bring us clarity. Unfortunately, many of us get trapped in judgment and miss the incredible power in all these beautiful teaching moments.

How else do we move forward?

We are all of equal value. We are all of equal wisdom. We just need to allow for more breadth of awareness, and that comes not from judgment, but from forgiveness.

 

Tags: awareness, Bev Pugh, forgiveness, growth, guilt, happiness, health, honest, judgement
Posted in forgiveness | No Comments »

Mar
09
2017

To All Parents, Grandparents, and Aspiring Parents

“Our integrity is the greatest gift we can give our kids.” ~Bev Pugh

cat hugAll of us parents want to be the best parent we can. It is quite a responsibility and a beautiful gift!!! There are so many parenting books, but for me I love this one story about Gandhi which holds a tremendous amount of wisdom. It’s an important reminder for us all.

In India, a mother wanted her son to eat less sugar. She decided that since all her attempts had failed, she would travel a large distance with her son to have Gandhi tell him that he was eating too much sugar and should stop. After much planning and reflecting, she took her 7-year-old son on a 5-hour train ride to visit Gandhi. She had arranged for an audience with him.

When they finally met with Gandhi she explained her situation and worry about her son, and asked that he tell her son directly to stop eating sugar. She waited for Gandhi’s response. He turned to the mother and said, “come back in two weeks”. The mom was beside herself with disappointment and frustration, and pleaded with Gandhi again to tell her son that sugar was bad for him and he had to stop. Again Gandhi looked at the Mom and told her to come back in two weeks. Distraught, the Mom left with her son.

She waited the two weeks and then decided that she would try again. So she took her 7-year-old son on the train again and travelled the 5-hours to have another audience with Gandhi. When it was their time she again repeated the story and asked Gandhi to tell he son not to eat sugar. Gandhi turned to her son and in a clear strong voice he said, “Don’t eat sugar”. The Mom was so relieved and grateful. Her son looked like he had been spoken to by an oracle.

Before they left, the Mom said, “Why did you make me come back the second time? Why couldn’t you have told him that the first time? I had to travel many hours on the train.” To which Gandhi responded, “Because two weeks ago, I was eating sugar.”

This is a very powerful reminder to all of us parents that the most powerful way we can parent our kids, is to be our own advice. No amount of lecturing, preaching, guilt or pushing will teach them feel the truth of what we are asking of them. How many of us are in integrity with ourselves?

When I was in Japan and had my first child, a very special person said to me, “Our children are our biggest teachers”. How true!

Stay focused on your own internal growth. This will ripple out to your children. We are not perfect, and this isn’t about being perfect. I laugh at my double standard, and my kids are too wise not to see the difference between what I espouse and what I actually do. But what they do see is a parent who is dedicated to her own self-growth… from the inside out.

That is the greatest gift we can give them!

Tags: Bev Pugh, growth, integrity, internal, kids, parent, responsibility, self-growth, wisdom
Posted in Parenting | No Comments »

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Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

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Mastery Practice Tool

Step 1: Play with the following exercise. It can be very powerful.

- If you are a parent, imagine your child.

- If you have an animal, imagine your pet.

- If you love sunsets, imagine the sunset.

- If you love the ocean, trees, Pilates, standing on your head, then imagine this.

Now let the love you feel for it, flow towards it. It’s a great feeling. Just open up your heart and feel the love you have for this special being or person. Take a moment to feel your love for something that opens your heart.

Step 2: Now take that beautiful heart-felt feeling and give it to yourself. Let yourself receive it. That warm feeling of appreciation, of love, let yourself receive it and feel it. It’s your own valentine.

Resistance may come in. Just pause and breathe and stay with the exercise.

Testimonial

Bev's Laughing and Breathing Belly Workshop for Children was one of the best I have attended. She has a gifted ability to gently connect with children and teach and share with them her techniques of belly breathing, rooting, mind vacations and laughter. These techniques soothe and calm them whenever they feel overwhelmed or anxious - be at school, home or before bed time. Whether you have an overwhelmed pre-schooler or a test-anxious pre-teen, Bev's approach works! I love that she gave parents the tools to model and share these fundamentals of meditation with their children. I would encourage families to take her course...your children will thank you and you will benefit from ways to keep yourself calm and allow wisdom in.

Farrah J. - Mother of 3, West Vancouver

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About Beverley

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

Contact

Telephone:
604-925-1513
Email:
bev@beverleypugh.com
Location:
120-1451 Marine Drive
West Vancouver, BC
V7T 1B8
Canada

Disclaimer: The information presented on this site about various psychological conditions, is of a general nature and is not a substitute for an assessment by a competent therapist and/or medical professional. If you believe that you or an important person in your life is in need of an intervention please seek qualified help as soon as possible.

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