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Jun
15
2016

We Parents

“It is through honouring ourselves, that we teach our children how to honour themselves.” ~ Bev Pugh

father sonMother’s Day has passed and Father’s Day is soon coming.

Over the years I have gained a great deal of experience and wisdom about how to celebrate Parent’s Day. This is what I have learned.

Initially as a Mom, I celebrated my kids on Mother’s Day because I was so excited to be a Mom. Then, I remember taking myself for granted and not really celebrating myself as a parent…a bouquet of flowers or chocolates was “enough”. Then our family went the commercialization route where money was spent on all of us going out for dinner.

Over the past years I have switched direction again, and asked both my kids on Mother’s Day to do two things: 1) To write at least one paragraph to me on how they feel about me as a parent. 2) To put time aside for me and them to play, doing whatever I choose.

We have been doing this for abut five years now. I love it!!

I don’t support the commercialization of Mother’s and Father’s Day, but I do support the acknowledgment of myself as a Mom…a formal acknowledgment. I get lots of hugs and thank yous throughout the year, but it feels good to have a day where I am truly celebrated.

All of us put our hearts and soul into being parents. It is important to step back and acknowledge ourselves. I know some of you think that you made too many mistakes to be deserving of a celebration. The vast majority of us parents do the best we can with who we are at the time. To fall into the ‘I could have done it better’ model is unfair to ourselves. We are all a work in progress. That is life.

I could say, “If I knew then what I know now, I would have done it differently.”, but that is not a productive way of moving forward. We can’t use our learning to beat ourselves up. Learn and celebrate. That is how we move forward.

On Mother’s Day I want to celebrate myself as well as teach my kids how to acknowledge and celebrate a parent…from their hearts.

This Mother’s Day they wanted to take me out for lunch. The cost of Mother’s Day buffet was horrendous. They couldn’t afford that. So we did a wonderful, simple brunch and then went plant shopping together. It was a lot of fun.

Another year they helped me clean my closet. Another year we went dog walking, then lunch and then shopping for me. That was quite hilarious!

I love the cards with handwritten paragraphs on how much I mean to them. It is a heartfelt experience for all of us.

Start early and set the tempo for celebration in a way that has meaning for you. It warms everyone’s hearts, and teaches us so much abut the importance of how to honour one another.

How good is this??!! I applaud us all!

Tags: Bev Pugh, celebrate, feel, hearts, honour, kids, learning, life
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Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

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Mastery Practice Tool

If you are having difficulty calming your mind and relaxing into sleep, lay down on your bed and get comfortable. Then close your eyes and place a cold damp cloth on your forehead for 20 minutes. You can listen to music while you do this or enjoy imagining a favourite place. When I worked in a sleep disorder clinic this practice was very popular. If you wish, read a couple of pages from an inspirational book. Take a deep breath and sink into your comfortable bed.

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My daughter, Trinity, attended her first Children’s Empowerment Workshop and she loved it! It has helped her deal with some of the real anxieties that all children go through - from the not so nice kid at school, to the imagination that runs away with her at night time, when we are getting ready for bed.

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About Beverley

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

Contact

Telephone:
604-925-1513
Email:
bev@beverleypugh.com
Location:
120-1451 Marine Drive
West Vancouver, BC
V7T 1B8
Canada

Disclaimer: The information presented on this site about various psychological conditions, is of a general nature and is not a substitute for an assessment by a competent therapist and/or medical professional. If you believe that you or an important person in your life is in need of an intervention please seek qualified help as soon as possible.

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