One Bear to another Bear: “His name is Bradshaw. He says he understands I came from a singe parent den with inadequate role models. He senses that my dysfunctional behaviour is shame based and codependent and he urges me to let my inner cub heal… I say we eat him.”
~ A cartoon I enjoyed while working in Japan. I love learning through laughter!!
Happy New Year everyone! I like the opportunity to start a New Year because it gives me the chance to do a personal review and reassess my accountability to myself. It’s like someone has blown a whistle and said “time out”, so I take some time to reflect.
I’d like to share one of my all time favourite quotes. I have carried this around with me for many years. Here it is:
“To know and not to do…is not yet to know.” ~ A Zen Saying
The quote reminds me that I already ‘know’ (on some level) and it challenges me to move into more integrity with myself. It is a humbling statement of wisdom.
This quote is a great navigational tool. Professionally and personally I have been described as having a good deal of wisdom, but I can do really dumb things. We all can. We forget what we know. The number of times in counselling sessions when I have heard people say “I know. I know.”, but their behaviour is different than what they know. I include myself in this. Our habits of reacting are strong. To erase them or weaken them, we have to be strong in our commitment to ourselves.
What I really love about this quote is it brings us to the truth of what is going on. We can all talk a good line, but are we living it? For me this quote asks me to review what I know is ‘right’ for me, and that takes me to a place of self inquiry. By self inquiry I mean I ask myself, “Bev, how are you really doing?”
As I respond to this self inquiry, I first let go of any blame I am carrying toward other people. All finger pointing is not where truth lies. I also step away from blaming circumstances or situations for any distress I feel. These are all not core issues. As you have heard me say in newsletters before, I am passionate about true self growth, not band aid approaches.
Band aids keep us in the same cycles, but give us temporary relief.
The core to self growth is to stay focused on yourself; to move into the area of self “response…ability”. It starts and ends with us – our thinking, our perceptions, our values, our clarity, and our willingness to take ourselves on.
2017 is about our commitment to ourselves. Remember: “To know and not to do… is not yet to know.”
What do you want to dig deeper and uproot this year?
Happy New Year everyone!
