“Our integrity is the greatest gift we can give our kids.” ~Bev Pugh
All of us parents want to be the best parent we can. It is quite a responsibility and a beautiful gift!!! There are so many parenting books, but for me I love this one story about Gandhi which holds a tremendous amount of wisdom. It’s an important reminder for us all.
In India, a mother wanted her son to eat less sugar. She decided that since all her attempts had failed, she would travel a large distance with her son to have Gandhi tell him that he was eating too much sugar and should stop. After much planning and reflecting, she took her 7-year-old son on a 5-hour train ride to visit Gandhi. She had arranged for an audience with him.
When they finally met with Gandhi she explained her situation and worry about her son, and asked that he tell her son directly to stop eating sugar. She waited for Gandhi’s response. He turned to the mother and said, “come back in two weeks”. The mom was beside herself with disappointment and frustration, and pleaded with Gandhi again to tell her son that sugar was bad for him and he had to stop. Again Gandhi looked at the Mom and told her to come back in two weeks. Distraught, the Mom left with her son.
She waited the two weeks and then decided that she would try again. So she took her 7-year-old son on the train again and travelled the 5-hours to have another audience with Gandhi. When it was their time she again repeated the story and asked Gandhi to tell he son not to eat sugar. Gandhi turned to her son and in a clear strong voice he said, “Don’t eat sugar”. The Mom was so relieved and grateful. Her son looked like he had been spoken to by an oracle.
Before they left, the Mom said, “Why did you make me come back the second time? Why couldn’t you have told him that the first time? I had to travel many hours on the train.” To which Gandhi responded, “Because two weeks ago, I was eating sugar.”
This is a very powerful reminder to all of us parents that the most powerful way we can parent our kids, is to be our own advice. No amount of lecturing, preaching, guilt or pushing will teach them feel the truth of what we are asking of them. How many of us are in integrity with ourselves?
When I was in Japan and had my first child, a very special person said to me, “Our children are our biggest teachers”. How true!
Stay focused on your own internal growth. This will ripple out to your children. We are not perfect, and this isn’t about being perfect. I laugh at my double standard, and my kids are too wise not to see the difference between what I espouse and what I actually do. But what they do see is a parent who is dedicated to her own self-growth… from the inside out.
That is the greatest gift we can give them!
