Mastery of Health and Happiness
  • Home
  • Who am I
  • What is Mastery?
  • Pearls of Wisdom
  • Media
  • Store
  • Newsletter
  • Contact
Mar
09
2017

To All Parents, Grandparents, and Aspiring Parents

“Our integrity is the greatest gift we can give our kids.” ~Bev Pugh

cat hugAll of us parents want to be the best parent we can. It is quite a responsibility and a beautiful gift!!! There are so many parenting books, but for me I love this one story about Gandhi which holds a tremendous amount of wisdom. It’s an important reminder for us all.

In India, a mother wanted her son to eat less sugar. She decided that since all her attempts had failed, she would travel a large distance with her son to have Gandhi tell him that he was eating too much sugar and should stop. After much planning and reflecting, she took her 7-year-old son on a 5-hour train ride to visit Gandhi. She had arranged for an audience with him.

When they finally met with Gandhi she explained her situation and worry about her son, and asked that he tell her son directly to stop eating sugar. She waited for Gandhi’s response. He turned to the mother and said, “come back in two weeks”. The mom was beside herself with disappointment and frustration, and pleaded with Gandhi again to tell her son that sugar was bad for him and he had to stop. Again Gandhi looked at the Mom and told her to come back in two weeks. Distraught, the Mom left with her son.

She waited the two weeks and then decided that she would try again. So she took her 7-year-old son on the train again and travelled the 5-hours to have another audience with Gandhi. When it was their time she again repeated the story and asked Gandhi to tell he son not to eat sugar. Gandhi turned to her son and in a clear strong voice he said, “Don’t eat sugar”. The Mom was so relieved and grateful. Her son looked like he had been spoken to by an oracle.

Before they left, the Mom said, “Why did you make me come back the second time? Why couldn’t you have told him that the first time? I had to travel many hours on the train.” To which Gandhi responded, “Because two weeks ago, I was eating sugar.”

This is a very powerful reminder to all of us parents that the most powerful way we can parent our kids, is to be our own advice. No amount of lecturing, preaching, guilt or pushing will teach them feel the truth of what we are asking of them. How many of us are in integrity with ourselves?

When I was in Japan and had my first child, a very special person said to me, “Our children are our biggest teachers”. How true!

Stay focused on your own internal growth. This will ripple out to your children. We are not perfect, and this isn’t about being perfect. I laugh at my double standard, and my kids are too wise not to see the difference between what I espouse and what I actually do. But what they do see is a parent who is dedicated to her own self-growth… from the inside out.

That is the greatest gift we can give them!

Tags: Bev Pugh, growth, integrity, internal, kids, parent, responsibility, self-growth, wisdom
Posted in Parenting | No Comments »

Jan
09
2017

2017 – My New Years Gift to YOU

bear humour

One Bear to another Bear: “His name is Bradshaw. He says he understands I came from a singe parent den with inadequate role models. He senses that my dysfunctional behaviour is shame based and codependent and he urges me to let my inner cub heal… I say we eat him.”
~ A cartoon I enjoyed while working in Japan. I love learning through laughter!!

Happy New Year everyone! I like the opportunity to start a New Year because it gives me the chance to do a personal review and reassess my accountability to myself. It’s like someone has blown a whistle and said “time out”, so I take some time to reflect.

I’d like to share one of my all time favourite quotes. I have carried this around with me for many years. Here it is:

“To know and not to do…is not yet to know.” ~ A Zen Saying

The quote reminds me that I already ‘know’ (on some level) and it challenges me to move into more integrity with myself. It is a humbling statement of wisdom.

This quote is a great navigational tool. Professionally and personally I have been described as having a good deal of wisdom, but I can do really dumb things. We all can. We forget what we know. The number of times in counselling sessions when I have heard people say “I know. I know.”, but their behaviour is different than what they know. I include myself in this. Our habits of reacting are strong. To erase them or weaken them, we have to be strong in our commitment to ourselves.

What I really love about this quote is it brings us to the truth of what is going on. We can all talk a good line, but are we living it? For me this quote asks me to review what I know is ‘right’ for me, and that takes me to a place of self inquiry. By self inquiry I mean I ask myself, “Bev, how are you really doing?”

As I respond to this self inquiry, I first let go of any blame I am carrying toward other people. All finger pointing is not where truth lies. I also step away from blaming circumstances or situations for any distress I feel. These are all not core issues. As you have heard me say in newsletters before, I am passionate about true self growth, not band aid approaches.

Band aids keep us in the same cycles, but give us temporary relief.

The core to self growth is to stay focused on yourself; to move into the area of self “response…ability”. It starts and ends with us – our thinking, our perceptions, our values, our clarity, and our willingness to take ourselves on.

2017 is about our commitment to ourselves. Remember: “To know and not to do… is not yet to know.”

What do you want to dig deeper and uproot this year?

Happy New Year everyone!

Tags: Beverley Pugh, blame, challenge, change, commitment, habit, inspiration, integrity, self-growth, truth, wisdom
Posted in change, Self Growth | 2 Comments »

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

Join Our Mailing List

Mastery Practice Tool

What is one of the most inspirational moments you have experienced?

In a quiet moment, remember, revisit, and let the sensations of this inspirational moment go through you. For me, it is often sensations of awe, expansiveness, and creativity. My breathing deepens and becomes longer. My perspective expands. From this place we can all draw on more of our courage and creativity to step outside of our comfort zone. We can use this momentum to step into the new experiences we want to create for ourselves.

Testimonial

Our ability, as parents, to support our children to thrive in stressful situations is becoming more and more important. Children need very specific tools in their self regulation 'tool kits' that they can draw upon to support their success, and trusted adults to coach them in their use. But what are these tools and how to we teach them effectively to our kids?

Thankfully, there is Beverley Pugh! Bev takes a curious and calm approach to supporting children and parents with this journey. She is passionately invested in teaching parents and children ways to reduce anxiety and approach life positively and confidently. Bev is a master of her craft - she draws on years of her own experience as a parent and counsellor to work effectively and respectfully with children and their parents. I have thoroughly enjoyed Bev's recent workshops for parents and children and recommend them to anyone willing to explore specific strategies to help their children thrive at home, at school and in their community.

Lani M. - Parent and Elementary School Principal

Archives

  • May 2018 (1)
  • March 2018 (1)
  • January 2018 (1)
  • December 2017 (1)
  • November 2017 (1)
  • October 2017 (1)
  • September 2017 (1)
  • August 2017 (1)
  • July 2017 (1)
  • June 2017 (1)
  • May 2017 (1)
  • April 2017 (1)
  • March 2017 (1)
  • February 2017 (1)
  • January 2017 (1)
  • December 2016 (1)
  • November 2016 (1)
  • October 2016 (1)
  • September 2016 (1)
  • August 2016 (1)
  • July 2016 (1)
  • June 2016 (2)
  • May 2016 (2)
  • April 2016 (2)
  • March 2016 (2)
  • February 2016 (2)
  • January 2016 (2)
  • December 2015 (2)
  • November 2015 (2)
  • October 2015 (2)
  • September 2015 (2)
  • August 2015 (2)
  • July 2015 (2)
  • June 2015 (2)
  • May 2015 (2)
  • April 2015 (2)
  • March 2015 (2)
  • January 2015 (4)
  • December 2014 (2)
  • November 2014 (2)
  • October 2014 (2)
  • September 2014 (2)
  • August 2014 (2)
  • July 2014 (2)
  • June 2014 (2)
  • May 2014 (2)
  • April 2014 (2)
  • March 2014 (2)
  • February 2014 (2)
  • January 2014 (2)
  • December 2013 (2)
  • November 2013 (2)
  • October 2013 (2)
  • September 2013 (3)
  • August 2013 (1)
  • July 2013 (2)
  • June 2013 (2)
  • May 2013 (1)
  • April 2013 (2)
  • March 2013 (2)
  • February 2013 (2)
  • January 2013 (2)
  • December 2012 (2)
  • November 2012 (2)
  • October 2012 (2)
  • September 2012 (4)
  • August 2012 (3)
  • July 2012 (3)
  • June 2012 (3)
  • May 2012 (3)
  • April 2012 (4)
  • March 2012 (3)
  • February 2012 (3)
  • January 2012 (2)

Categories

  • awareness (30)
  • Balance (8)
  • change (16)
  • Choice (28)
  • Feeling Gratitude (14)
  • forgiveness (8)
  • Gentleness (10)
  • healing (17)
  • Health and Happiness (35)
  • Health and Wellness (18)
  • holding power (9)
  • Inspirational (32)
  • Learning to Adapt (18)
  • Love (30)
  • managing emotions (20)
  • Meditation and Relaxation (15)
  • Parenting (6)
  • Pearls of Wisdom (21)
    • Breathing (3)
    • Creating What You Want (4)
    • Gratitude (6)
    • Happiness (7)
    • Heart Space (2)
    • Meditation (2)
  • Relationships (4)
  • Self Growth (57)
  • Stress (3)
  • transitions (6)
  • Uncategorized (3)

About Beverley

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

Contact

Telephone:
604-925-1513
Email:
bev@beverleypugh.com
Location:
120-1451 Marine Drive
West Vancouver, BC
V7T 1B8
Canada

Disclaimer: The information presented on this site about various psychological conditions, is of a general nature and is not a substitute for an assessment by a competent therapist and/or medical professional. If you believe that you or an important person in your life is in need of an intervention please seek qualified help as soon as possible.

(c) 2023. Beverley Pugh Counselling Services. All Rights Reserved. Site Designed by Pureze Web Media.