Those are the words of Carlee, who lives just outside of Seattle. She had a unique transformative experience and wants very much to share her learning in hopes that it might help others who really desire to change, but are struggling with moving forward. Here is her story.
Carlee was experiencing depression, not enough to interfere greatly with her job performance or her ability to have a relationship, but intense enough that she would have very difficult days. She experienced the frustration of seeming inability to change, followed by weight gain, which further increased her depression.
One evening she was sitting in the front row of a yoga class, when a part of her inner self emerged. We don’t really know the gender, but will use “he” for reference. He told her he was her inner bully and began sobbing as he apologized for all the things he had said to her, for all the degrading emotions he had created in her, for all the negative thoughts he had brought forth to make her feel so regretful about herself and the things she had done. Carlee quietly cried with him as she experienced the heartfelt remorse of this inner being who had come of his own accord to speak with her and say how truly sorry he was.
In the next two months, Carlee lost her physical burden. The weight seemed to literally fall off day after day. The emotional burdens became lighter. She no longer had those very difficult days.
Carlee’s inner self came unbidden, but she had been working to move forward. She had discovered the importance of feeling the warmth of the Vancouver sun. She had gotten to know how her brain works and was both thankful for its quirkiness and thankful to know how to manage it. She saw the curiosity of space in a bookshelf and the wonder of watching the sand in a 3-minute hourglass during the most stressful part of her day. She learned to stop. She learned balance. She learned to plan wonderful events in the future so when it gets dark and cold she would have some exciting times to think about.
Then her inner self appeared. And that was that.
Folks ask Carlee how she made her changes seemingly so “quickly” and “easily”. She has the following answer for all of us who are stuck while desperately trying to change. Here it is.
Acceptance. Forgiveness. Awareness. Patience.
And as Carlee says, “The rest is just math.”
Thanks Carlee.