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Mar
09
2017

To All Parents, Grandparents, and Aspiring Parents

“Our integrity is the greatest gift we can give our kids.” ~Bev Pugh

cat hugAll of us parents want to be the best parent we can. It is quite a responsibility and a beautiful gift!!! There are so many parenting books, but for me I love this one story about Gandhi which holds a tremendous amount of wisdom. It’s an important reminder for us all.

In India, a mother wanted her son to eat less sugar. She decided that since all her attempts had failed, she would travel a large distance with her son to have Gandhi tell him that he was eating too much sugar and should stop. After much planning and reflecting, she took her 7-year-old son on a 5-hour train ride to visit Gandhi. She had arranged for an audience with him.

When they finally met with Gandhi she explained her situation and worry about her son, and asked that he tell her son directly to stop eating sugar. She waited for Gandhi’s response. He turned to the mother and said, “come back in two weeks”. The mom was beside herself with disappointment and frustration, and pleaded with Gandhi again to tell her son that sugar was bad for him and he had to stop. Again Gandhi looked at the Mom and told her to come back in two weeks. Distraught, the Mom left with her son.

She waited the two weeks and then decided that she would try again. So she took her 7-year-old son on the train again and travelled the 5-hours to have another audience with Gandhi. When it was their time she again repeated the story and asked Gandhi to tell he son not to eat sugar. Gandhi turned to her son and in a clear strong voice he said, “Don’t eat sugar”. The Mom was so relieved and grateful. Her son looked like he had been spoken to by an oracle.

Before they left, the Mom said, “Why did you make me come back the second time? Why couldn’t you have told him that the first time? I had to travel many hours on the train.” To which Gandhi responded, “Because two weeks ago, I was eating sugar.”

This is a very powerful reminder to all of us parents that the most powerful way we can parent our kids, is to be our own advice. No amount of lecturing, preaching, guilt or pushing will teach them feel the truth of what we are asking of them. How many of us are in integrity with ourselves?

When I was in Japan and had my first child, a very special person said to me, “Our children are our biggest teachers”. How true!

Stay focused on your own internal growth. This will ripple out to your children. We are not perfect, and this isn’t about being perfect. I laugh at my double standard, and my kids are too wise not to see the difference between what I espouse and what I actually do. But what they do see is a parent who is dedicated to her own self-growth… from the inside out.

That is the greatest gift we can give them!

Tags: Bev Pugh, growth, integrity, internal, kids, parent, responsibility, self-growth, wisdom
Posted in Parenting | No Comments »

May
01
2012

Happy Expectancy

“Happy expectancy of possibility opens our hearts.” 

Beverley Pugh

Spring FlowersI love the phrase “happy expectancy”.  It’s uplifting, it’s hopeful, it’s “anything is possible”, it’s energizing.  Spring for me is light and warmth and renewal and the essence of “happy expectancy”.

There are times when I catch my mind focussing on what’s wrong or what could go wrong.  I have learned to choose differently.  My ‘little mind’ wants to focus on lack and I invite my ‘big mind’ to focus on the unlimited possibilities of each moment.

I have always carried happy expectancy with my children.  It’s been one of my greatest parenting strengths.  That doesn’t mean I haven’t been real about what’s happening, but I have aspired to hold the energy of happy expectancy as a parent.

And then I do it for myself.  When my mind wanders to “lack” of something, I kindly bring it to happy expectancy.

What is happy expectancy?  It’s being in my heart, knowing that good things are possible and that’s where I choose to be.  It brings out the best in me and it brings out the best in my family.

Happy expectancy is different from expectations.  Expectations are more about “shoulds” – how something should look.  We often carry a lot of emotional attachment to how something should look and that can cloud the present moment.

One of my greatest learnings is to shift from expectations to happy expectancy. That doesn’t mean I don’t have expectations of others and myself. I watch the emotional attachment I have to them. I watch the meaning I give expectations. Happy expectancy opens our hearts to all the good things that are available now in this moment and in the future. For me, it usually starts with a big “letting go” breath or sigh. My breath deepens and then I choose my focus of happy expectancy. I know when I’ve got it because I can feel sensations in my body.

Spring is a wonderful season of renewal and growth. You hold the capacity of Spring. I invite you to play with happy expectancy.

Tags: Bev Pugh, Beverley Pugh, emotional attachment, energizing, focus, growth, happy expectancy, heart, hope, mind, parent, renewal
Posted in Health and Happiness, Inspirational, Self Growth | No Comments »

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

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What is one of the most inspirational moments you have experienced?

In a quiet moment, remember, revisit, and let the sensations of this inspirational moment go through you. For me, it is often sensations of awe, expansiveness, and creativity. My breathing deepens and becomes longer. My perspective expands. From this place we can all draw on more of our courage and creativity to step outside of our comfort zone. We can use this momentum to step into the new experiences we want to create for ourselves.

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About Beverley

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

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Telephone:
604-925-1513
Email:
bev@beverleypugh.com
Location:
120-1451 Marine Drive
West Vancouver, BC
V7T 1B8
Canada

Disclaimer: The information presented on this site about various psychological conditions, is of a general nature and is not a substitute for an assessment by a competent therapist and/or medical professional. If you believe that you or an important person in your life is in need of an intervention please seek qualified help as soon as possible.

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