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May
10
2016

A Technicolour Yawn

“If you don’t enjoy your life, something else will —-despair, sadness —.” ~ Anonymous

keep-calm-and-be-presentRecently, it feels that many off us are being affected by uncertainty or loss. This is certainly showing up a lot in my caseload, and my extended family.

Part of life is experiencing ‘unwanted’ circumstances. There are many emotional stages related to our internal processing. I am an expert because I have been through them all! We can be dealing with feelings of disbelief, denial, anger, sadness, despair and more.  It takes some time to move into acceptance.

One of the most important things I have learned from myself and my career is that we can determine the amount of time we spend in each stage. Our beliefs, the perspectives we hold and our philosophy can profoundly affect our emotional processing. I have seen this over and over again.

There are two tools I am sharing with you today which recently helped me navigate through the ups and downs of life.

Overwhelm is an emotion we all often feel when facing an unwanted circumstance.

An important resource for managing overwhelm is and exercise called Releasing Internal Pressure. This is pivotal. We can’t move into perspective, recovery or wisdom until we have released all the churning thoughts and opinions that are swirling around inside of us.

I know this is true for myself. When there is internal pressure inside of me my nervous system kicks up, and my mind gets very opinionated and active. Neither are peaceful states! A mistake that I have made many times is assuming that the internal pressure will just go away on its own. Or if I distract myself, it will fade. No, it just pops up again. I have tried avoidance, and I certainly don’t want to drown in uncertainty.

I personally release internal pressure by doing continuous writing. I have an old exercise book, and I keep it just for my continuous writing. I write non-stop and quickly – its more like a scrawl. I can say anything I want because no one will read it. I can swear, have gobs of spelling mistakes, use judgement, and just emotionally vomit.

When I was working in Australia I learned that they call continuous writing a “technicolour yawn”. Great description! Some of my continuous writing is juicy!! You keep writing until there is absolutely nothing more to say, and your breathing deepens.

Then start again the next day, depending on what internal pressure comes up. This is very cleansing. It also keeps us in integrity with how we really feel, rather than trying to avoid it in some way or move to a higher level too fast.

The second pivotal tool is not letting our minds run ahead of us into negative thinking. This can be a real challenge. I know it has been for me. Our minds, when worried or scared, can go all over the place. In the past (how could this have happened?) or in the future (will it be alright?). We usually leave out the present moment. This creates added stress, and slows down our resources – either for ourselves or for someone we love.

Our minds try to figure life out, and are tying to protect us. So they get busy. That’s where the habit of a busy mind develops. Now we have “habit” overlaying initial cause.

Our power exists in the moment. That is where our strength lies. Bringing ourselves into the present is a powerful way to downregulate anxiety and worry. Another tool I like to use is called the Internal Flashlight. I find it gives me extra focus and support.

We can’t control our outer world, but we can our inner world.

When we understand that it is our internal world we want to focus on first, then navigational tools to help us with that become really important. I only go the outside, once I have cleaned up my inside…or as much cleaning up as I can do in this moment.

It is a really good feeling to have an expansion of our internal resources in life. It gives us more peace of mind.

Tags: acceptance, anxiety, Bev Pugh, emotions, life, navigate, power, present, pressure, processing, strength, support, worry
Posted in awareness, healing, managing emotions | 2 Comments »

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

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Mastery Practice Tool

A Day to Remember

Know that I do every practice exercise I share with you. As you are playing with them, I am as well. I personally need the reminders and practices to stay on the course of what is important for me. I find practices help me build the consistency of ‘inner muscle’ I want in life. I stay committed to my self-growth so I notice, I practice, and I self correct. So here is this month’s Practice Exercise which I first did in Japan while working...

Take a day and choose to commit to notice and find delight in all the small things. Take nothing for granted. Exaggerate your noticing and enjoyment. Really be present. You may have a picture of yourself really vibrating with aliveness. Take a good look, and recreate that feeling inside you. Wake yourself up. For example: While drinking water think “wow this feels good...I love it!!”. Really open yourself to being appreciative of all the little things around you in your life.

If you forget, just correct without judgement, and go back to noticing and smiling with appreciation. Behind this is a very powerful part of you that can determine the ‘colours’ you experience inside.

Testimonial

Our ability, as parents, to support our children to thrive in stressful situations is becoming more and more important. Children need very specific tools in their self regulation 'tool kits' that they can draw upon to support their success, and trusted adults to coach them in their use. But what are these tools and how to we teach them effectively to our kids?

Thankfully, there is Beverley Pugh! Bev takes a curious and calm approach to supporting children and parents with this journey. She is passionately invested in teaching parents and children ways to reduce anxiety and approach life positively and confidently. Bev is a master of her craft - she draws on years of her own experience as a parent and counsellor to work effectively and respectfully with children and their parents. I have thoroughly enjoyed Bev's recent workshops for parents and children and recommend them to anyone willing to explore specific strategies to help their children thrive at home, at school and in their community.

Lani M. - Parent and Elementary School Principal

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About Beverley

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

Contact

Telephone:
604-925-1513
Email:
bev@beverleypugh.com
Location:
120-1451 Marine Drive
West Vancouver, BC
V7T 1B8
Canada

Disclaimer: The information presented on this site about various psychological conditions, is of a general nature and is not a substitute for an assessment by a competent therapist and/or medical professional. If you believe that you or an important person in your life is in need of an intervention please seek qualified help as soon as possible.

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