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Mar
09
2017

To All Parents, Grandparents, and Aspiring Parents

“Our integrity is the greatest gift we can give our kids.” ~Bev Pugh

cat hugAll of us parents want to be the best parent we can. It is quite a responsibility and a beautiful gift!!! There are so many parenting books, but for me I love this one story about Gandhi which holds a tremendous amount of wisdom. It’s an important reminder for us all.

In India, a mother wanted her son to eat less sugar. She decided that since all her attempts had failed, she would travel a large distance with her son to have Gandhi tell him that he was eating too much sugar and should stop. After much planning and reflecting, she took her 7-year-old son on a 5-hour train ride to visit Gandhi. She had arranged for an audience with him.

When they finally met with Gandhi she explained her situation and worry about her son, and asked that he tell her son directly to stop eating sugar. She waited for Gandhi’s response. He turned to the mother and said, “come back in two weeks”. The mom was beside herself with disappointment and frustration, and pleaded with Gandhi again to tell her son that sugar was bad for him and he had to stop. Again Gandhi looked at the Mom and told her to come back in two weeks. Distraught, the Mom left with her son.

She waited the two weeks and then decided that she would try again. So she took her 7-year-old son on the train again and travelled the 5-hours to have another audience with Gandhi. When it was their time she again repeated the story and asked Gandhi to tell he son not to eat sugar. Gandhi turned to her son and in a clear strong voice he said, “Don’t eat sugar”. The Mom was so relieved and grateful. Her son looked like he had been spoken to by an oracle.

Before they left, the Mom said, “Why did you make me come back the second time? Why couldn’t you have told him that the first time? I had to travel many hours on the train.” To which Gandhi responded, “Because two weeks ago, I was eating sugar.”

This is a very powerful reminder to all of us parents that the most powerful way we can parent our kids, is to be our own advice. No amount of lecturing, preaching, guilt or pushing will teach them feel the truth of what we are asking of them. How many of us are in integrity with ourselves?

When I was in Japan and had my first child, a very special person said to me, “Our children are our biggest teachers”. How true!

Stay focused on your own internal growth. This will ripple out to your children. We are not perfect, and this isn’t about being perfect. I laugh at my double standard, and my kids are too wise not to see the difference between what I espouse and what I actually do. But what they do see is a parent who is dedicated to her own self-growth… from the inside out.

That is the greatest gift we can give them!

Tags: Bev Pugh, growth, integrity, internal, kids, parent, responsibility, self-growth, wisdom
Posted in Parenting | No Comments »

Nov
10
2015

The Topic of an Argument Isn’t Always Important

couples talkingI have a husband and two kids under the age of 6. I would dread it when my husband would come home. He would get the kids all excited and they would be late for bed. I would have to mop up the mess the next day. We rarely argued, and after a while we emotionally separated from one another. Our marriage suffered.

Our learning came from understanding how when I talked to him, I spoke with authority as though I had more power than him. When he talked to me, he spoke as a troublesome child. We went on for a long time like this.

We went to counselling to sort out the bedtime issues, and concluded that it was due to the way we were treating one another. Both of us felt the other had pushed us to being so terrible. I also learned that this was my way of not taking responsibility for my contribution. That was a big one for me. We had a lot of sorting out to do and most of it was the way we treated each other rather than the particular topic at hand. It was so very helpful. I hope others will find this helpful. – Virginia

 

Tags: acceptance, choice, Counselling, emotions, family, marriage, power, responsibility
Posted in awareness, Choice, forgiveness, healing, Health and Happiness, Love, Relationships | No Comments »

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

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Bring mindfulness through your 5 senses to an activity or setting that you enjoy. Choose a period of time before you begin so you are in charge, rather than your mind being in charge. Breathe deeply as you focus on each sense. Set your intention and attention.

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Our ability, as parents, to support our children to thrive in stressful situations is becoming more and more important. Children need very specific tools in their self regulation 'tool kits' that they can draw upon to support their success, and trusted adults to coach them in their use. But what are these tools and how to we teach them effectively to our kids?

Thankfully, there is Beverley Pugh! Bev takes a curious and calm approach to supporting children and parents with this journey. She is passionately invested in teaching parents and children ways to reduce anxiety and approach life positively and confidently. Bev is a master of her craft - she draws on years of her own experience as a parent and counsellor to work effectively and respectfully with children and their parents. I have thoroughly enjoyed Bev's recent workshops for parents and children and recommend them to anyone willing to explore specific strategies to help their children thrive at home, at school and in their community.

Lani M. - Parent and Elementary School Principal

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About Beverley

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

Contact

Telephone:
604-925-1513
Email:
bev@beverleypugh.com
Location:
120-1451 Marine Drive
West Vancouver, BC
V7T 1B8
Canada

Disclaimer: The information presented on this site about various psychological conditions, is of a general nature and is not a substitute for an assessment by a competent therapist and/or medical professional. If you believe that you or an important person in your life is in need of an intervention please seek qualified help as soon as possible.

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