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Nov
12
2014

Finding Comfort Around Us

blanket

by Henry Boudin

It often helps to speak with someone when we are feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, or sad. But sometimes, we cannot get in touch with anyone, and sometimes we need to change our emotional state immediately, more quickly than looking up a number – or finding our phones!

That’s when it’s important to have something around us that is associated with comfort and safety. Usually we have things around that will help, such as blankets, pictures, or books, but we don’t think about it on a conscious level.

Here are some ways to explore our surroundings to find comfort:

1) Look around and take some time noticing how you feel when your eyes fall on different objects.
2) Do the objects have an effect on you? Do some make you smile? Or relax? Do some remind you of a fun or meaningful experience? Do some elicit excitement?
3) Do you have a favorite cover that “gives you a hug”?
4) Do certain rooms elicit different feelings? How about colours?
5) Note the parts of your surroundings which give you feelings that would help in moments of stress. Note where they are so they are readily accessible.

Sounds can change our emotions almost instantaneously. The music we listen to has great effects on our moods. As you listen to music, do the same exercise mentioned above. Make a list of the music that will help in difficult times. As with your comforting objects, keep your music close at hand and easily accessible during difficult times.

Tags: comfort, feelings, help, Henry Boudin, music, overwhelm, relax, sad, safety, stress
Posted in healing, Health and Wellness | No Comments »

Mar
09
2014

Unconscious Minds and Fairy Tales by Mary Anne Lloyd

RiskI was perusing a poster in the office about Life, and one of the suggestions is to “become friends with uncertainty.”  So I began to ask people what they thought about that, and all but one had some sort of anxiety reaction to the mere thought of uncertainty! So I thought, “Where did that reaction come from, because I have to admit, I had the same initial reaction!

Why is it? When something happens that causes us uncertainty, human creatures usually opt for anxiety and the worst case scenario?

Our unconscious minds are marvelous.  They try to keep us safe at all costs, and sometimes they work overtime. I think that there was a time when it was really important for us to err on the side of concluding there was danger afoot. If we missed seeing some poisonous plant in our food, or a dangerous spider inside our cave, it was a life or death situation. We only got one chance. There were no hospitals or poison control numbers to call. And if we failed to notice a stealthy animal stalking us, there was no bear spray or cell phone to get us out of trouble. We could have as many false alarms as we wanted, but we really could not afford any misses.

So our unconscious minds were usually letting us know, “Be careful! You’d better watch out! There is something bad out there!”

And just think what we learned as young kids singing fairy tales! Don’t sit on any walls, because you’ll fall off and break into pieces. That hill? Forget it. The both of you will come tumbling down and someone will get a concussion. Evil queens are out and about. And you never know what might be in that apple.

Luckily, there are magic wands and wonderful princes and helpful dwarves in the mix. White horses and Fairy Godmothers and pumpkins that turn into chariots. Thankfully, our very imaginative unconscious minds get a good dose of happy endings as well.

But, our unconscious minds are still doing their best to keep us safe from all those scary things out there. Realistically, we have a few more resources to help us out these days. We have hospitals and cell phones and relaxation, which increases our vigilance. We have ourselves and many ways to move forth and discover. If we make a wrong turn, we learn along the way, and then pull out our mind’s GPS.

So when our unconscious minds are saying, “Whoa! That’s uncertainty – look out!”  Maybe we can be thankful because our unconscious minds always have our backs, but also mindful that we’re out of the cave and we have resources.

Maybe uncertainty can be safe.  And who knows, maybe someday we human creatures may even find that the tingling that starts when we hear the word “uncertainty” is not anxiety after all.  Maybe it’s really (who would have thought!)  Maybe what we’re feeling is …….excitement!

Tags: emotions, fear, Mary Anne Lloyd, safety, self-growth, stress, uncertainty, unconscious mind
Posted in holding power, Learning to Adapt, managing emotions, Self Growth | 2 Comments »

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

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About Beverley

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

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Disclaimer: The information presented on this site about various psychological conditions, is of a general nature and is not a substitute for an assessment by a competent therapist and/or medical professional. If you believe that you or an important person in your life is in need of an intervention please seek qualified help as soon as possible.

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