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Jan
13
2014

Embrace Change – by Pamela

2013 was a year of many changes for me. Like a lot of people, I used to fear change  – the fear of the unknown can be utterly paralyzing – but for me, it’s the fear that things will remain the same that inspires me to embrace change.

I haven’t always been fearless. I stayed a long time in an unhappy marriage, repressed and depressed. I spent several years denying an addiction that was slowly killing me. I was living life off of the side of my plate, grasping at scraps instead of enjoying the full meal. Enveloped in shame but projecting an image of perfection. It was exhausting, pretending to be someone that I wasn’t. So I looked deep within myself to find out what it was that I was hiding and determined that it was my addiction. It was holding me back from moving forward with my life, making me depressed and causing me so much shame.

Shame can be a dank swampland or a searing hot poker, piercing your soul. Shame becomes like a drug – addictive, temporarily uplifting and readily accessible if you know where to look. Unlike embarrassment or guilt, shame is autonomous and comes from within the self. Shame is being unable to meet your own eyes in the mirror. When you know you have done something that society disapproves of or have broken your own moral code.  A person who feels guilt is saying “I did something bad.”, while someone who feels shame is saying “I am bad”. There is a big difference between the two.

On the other side of the spectrum, there is vulnerability. And courage. And authenticity. There is empathy, acceptance and forgiveness. I allowed myself to be vulnerable and rather than making me weak, it has made me stronger. By admitting to myself and to the people that love me that I was addicted to alcohol I found the support that gets me through dark days and temptation. For the first time in a long time, I like who I am: this sober, alive, authentic self. More than like her, I actually love her.

I ended 2013 with a clear mind and an open heart. With the attitude that every day is an opportunity for wonder and joy. I don’t worry about change. When things don’t go as expected or times are challenging, I acknowledge it, make peace with it & put it behind me. Because I can’t wait to see what comes next.

Tags: acceptance, authentic, change, fear, forgiveness, love, open heart, self-growth, unknown
Posted in change, Self Growth | 2 Comments »

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

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Choose Your Dominant Thought

We have been given a subconscious mind, a conscious mind, and free choice. We have the resources we need to be happy and healthy regardless of what is gong on. Choose a dominant thought that holds the meaning of what is really important to you. When you say it, look for a light and expanding feeling. It will feel like it elevates you. This is not a mental exercise, it is a feeling exercise using words for increased awareness. Keep this dominant thought at the forefront of your mind. If a negative thought comes in, immediately return to your dominant thought. With practice you will get faster at shifting your awareness. This is very powerful.

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Bev's Laughing and Breathing Belly Workshop for Children was one of the best I have attended. She has a gifted ability to gently connect with children and teach and share with them her techniques of belly breathing, rooting, mind vacations and laughter. These techniques soothe and calm them whenever they feel overwhelmed or anxious - be at school, home or before bed time. Whether you have an overwhelmed pre-schooler or a test-anxious pre-teen, Bev's approach works! I love that she gave parents the tools to model and share these fundamentals of meditation with their children. I would encourage families to take her course...your children will thank you and you will benefit from ways to keep yourself calm and allow wisdom in.

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About Beverley

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

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604-925-1513
Email:
bev@beverleypugh.com
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120-1451 Marine Drive
West Vancouver, BC
V7T 1B8
Canada

Disclaimer: The information presented on this site about various psychological conditions, is of a general nature and is not a substitute for an assessment by a competent therapist and/or medical professional. If you believe that you or an important person in your life is in need of an intervention please seek qualified help as soon as possible.

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