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The Strength of Choice

January 13th, 2014

diving in“Fear and love: the largest show on Broadway.” ~ Anonymous

I don’t look at my fears as bad. I used to. We can all carry embarrassment, worry, or shame around our fears. Do they make us less than the next person? In fact, all of us at some point may feel we’ve cornered the market on a certain fear or a feeling of not being good enough.

How do fears show themselves in our life:

  • Co-dependency (depending on a relationship to give us value)
  • Avoidance
  • Addictions
  • Over functioning
  • Under functioning
  • People pleasing
  • Approval seeking
  • I’m not good enough “yet” so I’ll try harder
  • and so on…

We are all human, and our fears are part of our humanness. They are also part of our growth. They set the stage for our emotional growth. I don’t see them as bad. They are simply part of how we grow. It’s the way growth has been designed.

The frightened part of our personalities creates distress for each one of us. Distress because they limit us in some way. It’s like contracting a muscle, and after a while you are exhausted. All you want to do is let the contraction go so you can breathe, expand, and relax.

That takes us to expansion. I see expansion as love. When I reflect on love, my thoughts go to self-love – accepting ourselves with love, with all our wants and imperfections. Most of us carry an aspect in our personality of feeling unworthy or not good enough. It’s a frightened part of our personality. We also have an all-knowing heart that carries the truth of our core value. Love is the awareness that we all have intrinsic value, each one of us. It’s our birthright. We come into this life with that beautiful truth.

That beautiful truth gets crusted up with emotional upheaval when we grow up. This is no one’s fault, it simply is. The emotional distress creates a separation between fear (our feelings of not enough) and love (our intrinsic value).

How do we voyage back to knowing and feeling the truth of our own worthiness – our own intrinsic value? We voyage back through awareness, breath, releasing work, and choice.

Choice is a huge gift that we all have been given. We can’t move into choice without awareness – awareness of what is going on in the present moment; awareness of our emotions. Through awareness we gain perspective. Perspective allows us to remember our intrinsic value.

The strength of choice. If I tease out what is involved with choice, I go to:

  • Awareness
  • Breath
  • Commitment
  • Courage
  • Releasing
  • Choosing

It’s through conscious choice that we experience our own personal power.

I hope this is a good year of personal expansion for you. “Fear and love: the largest show on Broadway” for each one of us. Stay awake and know that there is strength in choice.

I wish you all much personal growth in 2014.

Tags: awareness, Bev Pugh, choice, courage, love, releasing, self-growth, truth, worthiness
Posted in Choice, Self Growth

 

2 Responses

  1. Susan Bull says:
    January 14, 2014 at 10:40 am

    Bev………………the timing of this could not be more perfect!!!! Excellent, deep, profound and helpful.

    Love, Susan

    Reply
    • admin says:
      January 15, 2014 at 3:40 pm

      Susan – I’m happy to hear that you’ve found it helpful. Warm Wishes, Bev

      Reply
 

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Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

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Mastery Practice Tool

This is one of my favourites. I find it very rich.

 

Take a few moments to be quiet. Invite yourself to take a few big breaths, and release any tension. Now imagine someone or something that you love. I often imagine part of nature that moves me deeply. Feel the sensations start to move inside you; flowing inside you. You may feel warmth, or an inner smile, or an opening in your chest. You may feel expansive.

 

Allow the sensations and nuances to grow, and just silently observe and feel. Willingly invite these nuances to flow all through you as if they are filling you up. This is WHO YOU ARE. Stay in this beautiful place of self-expansion. This is self-love. This is unconditional love – freedom from the thinking mind stating the conditions upon which we are lovable. This place of beauty and appreciation is our natural state. Stay in this place for as long as you wish. You are feeding yourself, and remembering a deeper aspect of yourself that is not dependent on conditions. I practice this regularly. It is a very peaceful place to be.

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About Beverley

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

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