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What Do You Stand For?

January 12th, 2016

courage“Our true legacy is how we live our lives…not what we leave.” ~ Anonymous

This was a tough newsletter for me to write because once I wrote down what I stand for, four days later I realized “no, that’s not it.” I rewrote it four times! This simple inquiry really got a rumble going. So, this is it for now.

What we stand for is different than what our goals are. For me, what I stand for emanates from the deepest part of me. It is how I desire to be rather than to have.

When I became a parent my life changed overnight. It became really important to me that I gave these beautiful children a full spectrum of opportunity to value themselves, value others, and live a life to their fullest potential. I wanted to somehow contribute to that.

But how do we do that as parents?

It is one thing to ask ourselves, “What do I want to teach my children?”, and it’s quite another to ask, “What do I stand for?”. For me, this is one of those ‘going deep questions’; an inquiry that is useful for all of us. We all need clarity within ourselves, so our choices and behaviour can reflect that clarity.

What we stand for is different than what our goals are. For me, it is a vision that I hold that goes beyond goals and desires.

I stand for:

  • Courage
  • Compassion
  • Highest Potential
  • Service
  • Gratitude

Each one of these words is a way of life; a way of being and doing.

Courage to me is the courage to move forward outside of my comfort zone where there is attachment and familiarity. It is moving into the new, into what I truly desire for myself. It involves walking through fears. Perseverance and commitment are important friends during this phase.

Compassion is valuing myself wholeheartedly and valuing others. Compassion starts with self-compassion. As I dare to move forward, I hold compassion for myself rather than judgement. I hold this way of being for others.

Highest Potential is an integral part of what I stand for with myself and for others. That is why I love my work. My wish is that I am fully integrated and the highest part of me is what directs me. When we argue with different parts of ourselves, it drains a lot of energy. Therefore, we are not being integrated. We are scattered and we exhaust ourselves. Full Integration and Highest Potential. That is what I stand for.

Service is important to me because in my heart, I believe in community. We all need the support of one another.

Gratitude is the cornerstone of how I look at life. For me, it is a way of being rather than a feeling I have when I receive what I’m asking for. Gratitude keeps my heart open and when my heart is open, I grow as I keep experiencing new forms of awareness in each moment.

I once heard someone say, “How I participate in every part of life determines its value.” So true!

In this early part of 2016, reflect on what you stand for. This is our foundation from which we can move forward. This is what we pass on to our children. In our dense consumer driven world, it is easy to spend the whole time swimming in the waters of buying more things.

We often think of legacy as to what things we are leaving. For our loved ones, legacy is much vaster than that, and far more powerful.

I know for myself becoming a parent was the best thing that has ever happened to me. It lifted me to place of increased accountability to myself. This is not about judging ourselves in any way. This is about looking at life and living it from a place of inspiration and clarity.

Invite yourself to ponder. Ponder what you stand for. This is our true legacy.

Have a great year everyone!

Tags: behaviour, being, Beverley Pugh, commitment, compassion, courage, potential, service
Posted in awareness, Choice, Feeling Gratitude, forgiveness, Gentleness, Health and Happiness

 

12 Responses

  1. Susan Bull says:
    January 13, 2016 at 11:38 am

    Deep, honest, and thought provoking! “Sitting and breathing mindfully brings four important elements into our lives: peace, clarity, compassion and courage. When we are peaceful and clear, we are inspired to be more compassionate.Compassion brings courage and courage brings true happiness.When you have great compassion in yourself, you have the capacity to act with courage…enough courage to look deeply at old habits, acknowledge fear and make decisions that can cut through craving and anger. If you don’t have enough compassion for yourself, you won’t have the courage to cut off the afflictions that make you suffer” Thich Nhat Hanh

    Reply
    • admin says:
      January 15, 2016 at 9:00 pm

      Thanks Susan
      What an awesome quote!
      May I share it with others?
      Hope all is well for you.
      Bev

      Reply
  2. Lynn Mattson says:
    January 13, 2016 at 2:00 pm

    Thanks for this sharing Bev….I really like it 🙂
    and Happy New Year to you and yours!
    love from Lynn xo

    Reply
    • admin says:
      January 15, 2016 at 8:58 pm

      Thanks Lynn. I hope all is well for you.
      All is good for me.
      Bev

      Reply
  3. Linda Sutherland says:
    January 13, 2016 at 7:02 pm

    How Bev! Belated HNY to you! Great article – so much to relate to! I know how very bust you are but would love to catch up with you sometime. I have some pictures from Carole for you and a couple of paintings that I think Roger did. We are going away on the 24th and will be back on Feb 14th. Maybe after that we can find a Saturday morning to have a cuppa together. Let me know what works best for you. Love, Linda

    Reply
    • admin says:
      January 15, 2016 at 9:02 pm

      Hi Linda
      Great to hear from you.
      Thanks for your comments.
      This was a powerful newsletter for me!!!
      Would love to see you when you get back.
      Could you email when you are back?
      Thanks,
      Bev

      Reply
  4. Heidi says:
    January 14, 2016 at 10:48 am

    I love you so much Bev!!!! Thank you for writing and sharing this most personal reflection of who you are. I am going to print it and post it on my wall. I know you want us to write our own, and I will. But Courage, Compassion, Highest Potential, Service and Gratitude certainly resonate with me as I am sure they do with others. xoxo

    Reply
    • admin says:
      January 15, 2016 at 8:56 pm

      Thanks Heidi
      You have all of those attributes.
      Flex your muscle and they are yours!!!
      My love to you as well.
      Bev

      Reply
  5. alison purvis says:
    January 17, 2016 at 9:26 am

    Beautifully articulated Bev! Well done!!!

    Reply
    • admin says:
      January 17, 2016 at 8:44 pm

      Thanks Alison.
      I didnt realize when I started writing, how powerful it would be!!
      Core stuff.
      Hope all is well with you.
      Bev

      Reply
  6. Pauline Buck says:
    January 17, 2016 at 9:40 am

    Bev. This reflection is very powerful and a bit overwhelming. I would love to “pin down” what I stand for, but where to begin? Have you considered offering a workshop that would help people delve into the heart of their being to discover, or identify what they really stand for?? I would love to come. Bless you Bev. Pauline

    Reply
    • admin says:
      January 17, 2016 at 8:44 pm

      Hi Pauline
      Good to hear from you and I hope all is well. Yes I found it overwhelming at the beginning. But so powerful!!!
      Great idea about a workshop…thank you!!
      Bev

      Reply
 

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Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

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Bev's Laughing and Breathing Belly Workshop for Children was one of the best I have attended. She has a gifted ability to gently connect with children and teach and share with them her techniques of belly breathing, rooting, mind vacations and laughter. These techniques soothe and calm them whenever they feel overwhelmed or anxious - be at school, home or before bed time. Whether you have an overwhelmed pre-schooler or a test-anxious pre-teen, Bev's approach works! I love that she gave parents the tools to model and share these fundamentals of meditation with their children. I would encourage families to take her course...your children will thank you and you will benefit from ways to keep yourself calm and allow wisdom in.

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About Beverley

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

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