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May
08
2018

Bev and What’s Next

Bev

“Rather than planting the seeds, see what regenerates.” ~Chris Dierkes

Hello everyone,

As many of you know, I have been on a sabbatical. I love the work I do and the people who are courageous enough to step up to the plate and ask for help. Over the past year, I have stepped back and given myself space to just hang out. I have worked since I was 21, so it has been an interesting year for me!! Actually, I never really felt I was ‘working’… it always felt more like I was sharing and growing and bringing everyone with me as I grew.

Self-growth is truly an experiential experience. It takes awareness, commitment, devotion and accountability. It can be hard work, but it’s oh so rewarding!!!!!!! I have enjoyed every single step.

I can feel it is time for me to move into another part of me. The one that hasn’t really had the opportunity to play in different ways. I know there are parts of me that haven’t had full expression. My adulthood, like yours, has been mapped out with responsibilities. I am now in a place where responsibilities are no longer the same. That means that I can give myself the opportunity to listen to my impulses, and play in other ways that haven’t been available.

So yes, I am changing direction. The word is retirement. I know my first step out will be to continue to travel, and probably Northern India is the next place I will explore. How exciting is this?

Knowing me, I will continue to share in some way. I may send you newsletters as I experience some inspiration. There are many ways of sharing, and I look forward to see what comes up for me.

Is it okay to email me? Yes! I would love to hear from you, and have an update. I would love to respond.

My wish for you all is to love yourself enough to keep growing, and know that growth comes not from blaming others or your environment, but from what is going on inside of you. Keep fighting for yourself… the true playing field is inside you, not outside.

We all have the capacity to learn. Our power and our growth comes from our learning. As you go through life, be open to learning the pieces that are important for you. Take them on, and practice integrating them. They will become part of you. All of us have that capacity.

So, I would like to say to you all, “Go for it!”. It has truly been an honour working with you.

Thank you.

All my love,
Bev

Tags: Bev Pugh, learning, love, power, retirement, reward, self-growth
Posted in change, Choice | 25 Comments »

Mar
13
2018

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman there to hear… is he still wrong?

communication

“If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman there to hear… is he still wrong?” ~A fridge magnet

This fridge magnet makes for an interesting discussion between couples. My husband loves this quote.

In couples counselling, often the underlying theme being presented by clients is, “let’s get to the place where I am right, and my partner is wrong”. All of us have experienced this tendency. It stunts our communication and intimacy if we operate from this position. Not a lot can grow from it. But many of us do it either consciously or unconsciously.

Connection is based upon understanding. That is why in marital counselling we often do paraphrasing work, and encourage people to step into the other person’s shoes so that there is an understanding. This brings a feeling of being honoured. If we don’t feel honoured, we can become very angry and resentful. It can create a disconnect. Not good! It’s then impossible to move forward in our relationship. We get stuck in ‘right’ or ‘wrong’.

Do you feel honoured and understood in your relationship with your partner? Does your partner feel honoured and heard in their relationship with you?

If you wish to enhance your relationship with your partner or your child, I suggest the following:

Step 1: If you feel the emotional life thermometer going up, begin to belly breathe and feel your feet on the earth. Wiggle you toes and then ground yourself so you stay focused and clear.

Step 2: Go into your heart. Do that by imagining something you love, perhaps an animal, a special place in nature, or a child. We cannot move into any kind of resolution if our heart is closed.

Step 3: Listen to your partner (or child) from a place of being open. I ask myself the question, “Have I ever felt like they feel now?”, and then I let myself remember how it feels. Now I am really listening, and compassion is present in this moment. It doesn’t mean you abandoned your needs, but you are now listening from a place of hearing and there is still a connection rather than a disconnect.

Step 4: Paraphrase back to them to make sure you understand their meaning.

Step 5: Somewhere in the middle between them and you is the answer. Be open to it.

Step 6: This is not about giving up your opinion, your feelings, or your experiences. It’s about how to keep the connection going while you wade through the foliage. How you feel is important, and how they feel is important. If both of you can enter into communication from a place of open mind and open heart, then the chances for a good outcome increases.

Listening to understand is a beautiful way for both of you to keep the connection present while you sort things out.

Enjoy this morsel!

Tags: angry, breathe, compassion, Counselling, emotion, feelings, listen, open, relationship, understanding
Posted in Love, managing emotions | No Comments »

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Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

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Mastery Practice Tool

Tree Exercise for Children

During The Laughing and Breathing Belly workshops I taught an exercise for children called Standing Like a Tree. The children really enjoyed it. This is a great calming activity. You can have fun teaching them to stand like a rooted tree. They will feel good and steady.

Stand with them with feet shoulder-width apart and slightly bend their knees. Their arms go out like they are hugging the tree. Ask them to close their eyes and bring in the feeling of being a tree. Describe for them how they can feel their roots going down deep into the earth and then spreading. Their awareness is going down deep into the earth too. This is grounding for them. They can feel what it's like to be the strong big trunk of the tree and how good strength feels. They imagine the crown of their head reaching and touching the sky. It is a beautiful feeling of connection. Have them hold it for about 3-minutes. Practice it with them and you, too, can feel quieter inside!

Testimonial

My daughter, Trinity, attended her first Children’s Empowerment Workshop and she loved it! It has helped her deal with some of the real anxieties that all children go through - from the not so nice kid at school, to the imagination that runs away with her at night time, when we are getting ready for bed.

She practices her rooting and the different breathing techniques that she has learned, and has become stronger and more confident in dealing with different situations.

Pauline M.

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About Beverley

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

Contact

Telephone:
604-925-1513
Email:
bev@beverleypugh.com
Location:
120-1451 Marine Drive
West Vancouver, BC
V7T 1B8
Canada

Disclaimer: The information presented on this site about various psychological conditions, is of a general nature and is not a substitute for an assessment by a competent therapist and/or medical professional. If you believe that you or an important person in your life is in need of an intervention please seek qualified help as soon as possible.

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