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Jul
13
2013

Circles of Many Responses and Thoughts by Mary Anne Lloyd

Many Responses and ThoughtsHow many times on our lives have we “jumped to conclusions” or “known” the reasons behind someone’s actions or words? How often do we automatically assume that we are at fault if someone is sad? Or angry? Or distant? Quite often the question we ask is, “What did I do?”

Because of the filters that affect our perceptions, we generally tend to arrive at conclusions that we do not even consider questioning. The perceptions are effortless, seemingly automatic and make so much sense.

When this happens, we are using a Circle of One Response. An action can only be the result of one reason, and the resulting emotions we feel from the action are set in stone. For instance, if a new friend doesn’t meet us for lunch, we may automatically decide she doesn’t like us and has purposely not come. The resulting emotions we feel are anxiety, rejection, sadness, depression, and we may even feel like a failure. As a result of the emotions, we may avoid her, and at the least, our day mired down in negativity.

Luckily, there is a way to save the day. If we imagine a Circle that has Many Responses and Thoughts, not just one assumption, we can save ourselves some emotional down time. For instance, maybe this new friend actually forgot and is embarrassed. Maybe she had a family emergency. Maybe she got the days mixed up. Maybe you got the days mixed up. Maybe she’s at the wrong restaurant. Maybe her dog got lost. Maybe she got lost. Maybe you’re lost!

With the alternative perceptions, the resulting emotions are certainly lighter and can actually be humorous. The day is not lost to negative emotions based on an assumption that “feels” automatic and real.

So it’s helpful to question our automatic perceptions and assumptions. The Circle of Many Responses and Thoughts gives us the opportunity to acknowledge other possibilities. Most importantly, it saves us from “automatically” feeling unhealthy and negative emotions that may be a figment of an erroneous imagination.

Tags: assumptions, filters, Mary Anne Lloyd, Mastery of Health and Happiness, negative emotions, perception, responses, thoughts
Posted in Choice, managing emotions, Self Growth | No Comments »

Jul
13
2013

What’s Holding You Back?

Basketball hoop at SunsetA very wonderful man suffered a very devastating brain injury. He was not expected to live, but he did. No one could say if he would recover at all. He did. He was not expected to go back to work. He did. He was not expected to gain all of his cognitive functioning back. He did. He was not expected to regain his sense of space. He did. It’s been about 10 years, and he continues to get better as time goes on.

Through the years, he often quoted a saying he had heard from a basketball coach. It went something like this:

“Do not let what we cannot do, stop us from doing what we can do.”

Such powerful words. They certainly give us a powerful way to think about life. If we dwell on what we cannot do, we get stuck and stop moving. As we concentrate on doing what we can, we build a road into the future, where we have the opportunity to gain more and more abilities.

Tags: brain injury, inspiration, life, Mary Anne Lloyd, Mastery of Health and Happiness, opportunity, recover
Posted in Choice, holding power, Inspirational | No Comments »

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

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Mastery Practice Tool

Self-Governing

Take 15 minutes of quiet time dedicated to being clear about what you want for yourself, and how you are going to get there. Using this analogy, imagine you have 3 levels of self-government:

What does the Executive part of yourself want?

What is the Legislative part of you doing or going to do to ensure this happens?

How is the Judiciary part of you offering a space where you can learn, make a mistake, and keep getting stronger rather than judging yourself as being less than or a failure?

This is a tool to monitor ourselves, then watch and review how we are doing. Enjoy!

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About Beverley

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

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Telephone:
604-925-1513
Email:
bev@beverleypugh.com
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V7T 1B8
Canada

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