“False entitlement means:  I don’t have to earn anything…I am owed.

This can cripple our children who then go out into the real world thinking they don’t have to work for what they want.”

~ Beverley Pugh

Over the years many parents have referred themselves to me for ideas and strategies around avoiding the trap of unintentionally encouraging entitlement issues with their kids. Today I would like to share two practical strategies that I have used as a parent which I often share in my practice. My kids will be reading this so I am sure I will get comments!

First, some words on entitlement. Entitlement thinking is a style of focus and thought where an individual feels they are more important than the next person, and they are “owed” a certain lifestyle .There is an arrogance, self-absorption and criticalness to the individual’s approach to life. There is an omnipotence in their thinking. Parents can be so well meaning, yet if not careful they feed into the arrogant expectations of their children.

Canada is a very affluent part of the world. We have lots of “toys”, and they can be expensive. Children can be “spoiled” with affluence.

Here are the two practical strategies that were used in our household during the summer, and when traveling. Many of you may be into your holiday planning or adventures now.

First, I am a big fan of camping – going into nature and having our kids experience simplicity and living close to the land with minimum toys is wonderful. No technology allowed. Guess who puts up the tents and makes the fires? Everyone. No one gets to play on their cell phone or read a book while the others are putting the campsite together.

It can be so much fun cooking over a fire, and the kids start to get really creative. I know mine did. Hiking, fishing, campfire songs and helping each other out really builds the muscles of family and community. Helping out other people who are having difficulty with their campsite also helps build a sense of all being here to support one another.

You may not like camping, and this is all too much to ask. Our contributor this month has an interesting story around that. The spirit of the idea was fostered in that family.

A second strategy involves travelling. When we traveled, we went budget. We stayed in local hotels with no air conditioning, rode local buses, and ate simply. No 5 star hotels for us. They did what I did when I was a student with very little money. This helped give our children a wide variety of coping skills, and a huge toolkit for any time in their life. It also taught them gratitude. I am so glad we did it.

Have fun playing with these ideas and finding ways they can be helpful in your family. You can develop your own way of teaching these lessons.

It is wonderful to give thought to what we are doing, and why we are doing it. Keep that wide angle lens on your camera of decision making.

Enjoy and happy July!

Bev