I grew up in a very dysfunctional family. My family never saw me for who I really am. I was the different one. I struggled with self-confidence. I felt different and less than. My family lived from their heads and I was a very sensitive, feeling-based child. I had good heart intelligence but didn’t know it then. In fact, I felt there was something wrong with me.
I am now a 41 year old female and it has been, and continues to be, quite a journey.
I felt lost for years. I went through a great deal of depression and anxiety. I would get sick a lot. I felt “less than” for years. I didn’t believe in myself.
My path of building self-worthiness and my power has been challenging. Many many times I would look outside of myself to others for my sense of validation. I would look to relationships with a man, with other families, or with a job – all to feel safe and loved inside.
My biggest learning has been in the last two years. I am writing to you all to let you know that it is possible to find our own sense of internal worthiness. I now feel connected to my own inner knowledge, my internal worthiness, and my sense of personal power. I know that this is a continuous journey.
The irony of all of this is that as I found myself my outside life began to change. External things began to happen.
Now I’m in a wonderful relationship with a man. I am celebrating that I am in it not to feel safe or worthy, because I can now offer myself that. I am simply in it because it is time and I am ready. My reasons are healthy.
Oh, if only!
I am 65 and still always looking for love and validation “out there”! My husband has been telling me for 40 years he loves me, and my daughter (the light in my life) since she could talk, and a few others too….but, alas, it doesn’t break thro’ to my emotional consciousness. Alone is what I feel and experience daily…”different”, “unworthy” and no escape…except thro’ the wrong exit door! I am so happy to hear “Danielle’s story”, happy for her break thro! I read constantly, search endlessly for the “cure”, a long time “seeker” of spiritual wisdom that will “take me to a place of Light and LOVE” felt from within. I am happy for all those who find this most essential “pot of gold”!
Thank you so much for sharing Suzanne. You are on the right path. I hope the stories myself and my contributors share continue to inspire you in your own life.
All the best,
Bev