My Birthday Gift to You

“Do or do not. There is no try.” ~ Yoda in Star Wars

Yes, it’s my birthday this month! I love my birthday because I am the center of my own attention…in a positive way!!!  And it’s cause for celebration! It’s a great feeling to truly celebrate ourselves.

As I reflect on my growth throughout the years, I would like to share with you one of the most foundational pieces of learning that I have experienced. It’s a phrase that I quietly say to myself. But first let me tell you why it is important to me, and probably to you as well.

I grew up in a family where negative thinking was a way of life, and a way of fending off the worst things that could happen. The belief was that if you anticipate the worst by thinking negatively, then you protect yourself from the hurt you feel if something “bad” happens. You don’t hurt as much because you were emotionally preparing for it. This was not verbally said in my family, but I could feel it as a way of surviving and coping.

In my years of psychology, I learned that these negative thoughts come from the primal or instinctual part of the brain. It’s a safety mechanism. It’s a hard wiring. It’s not that it is bad or wrong. It has a place in our lives, but we were not meant to live our lives from this place or part of our brain. When we do, we recreate our past in our present. For many of us it has to do with the theme of not being good enough. Either we feel we are not good enough, or each situation or moment is not good enough. Lack is a common theme for many of us.

Since I grew up in a family who would anticipate bad things, coping techniques like control or avoidance became strong. Controlling can be a way of trying to make bad things not happen.

The second major thing I learned in psychology, was that my conscious mind is my ticket to happiness and freedom. What I am not conscious of, I can’t change. What I am conscious of, I can choose to change. Our conscious mind carries the ticket of choice. Of course a large part of counselling is knowing ways of unlocking the subconscious, so the conscious mind has more insight and choice.

So what is the phrase that has helped me navigate through life…more than navigate, flourish?

I began with the understanding that “what we focus on expands”. So true!!!

For some time that was my focus and my mantra, so to speak. It is very powerful in that our experience of life changes depending on what we are focusing on. Thank heavens for the conscious mind because it can choose our focus! If our subconscious is in charge, it may focus on negatives and lack…it holds a filing cabinet of doubts, fears and traumas. It is important we stay awake and aware of what we are thinking. We can teach ourselves how to observe our thoughts rather than be run by them.

Over time I began to develop a phrase to stay conscious. I began to quietly say to myself, “staying conscious”. What does consciousness mean to me? It means staying awake and connected to my wisdom and what I stand for. It means being present in every moment. It means seeing what is good in the moment, and feeling appreciation and gratitude for everything.

Over time I changed my heart filled mantra to “I am the highest consciousness” because I realized I wanted to live my life from an elevated consciousness. I found that just saying this phrase brought in a lot of energy and happiness because it put me in charge, rather than my thoughts.

It is important to understand that we can’t get rid of our negative thoughts. That is like trying to drain the ocean. There are times, through inquiry, that we can take the energy out of our thoughts by challenging them. There are other times where we have a habit going, and we need to shift our focus so that the thought weakens.

An essential piece of learning here is that we can choose our dominant thought, and that is extremely powerful. The dominant thought you choose is essential to your health and happiness. It determines how you feel and act in the moment. It determines your perception, and therefore your experiences in life.

I went dog walking yesterday and realized I was taking the world with me. I quietly said to myself, “I am my highest consciousness”. I said it over and over until that was my dominant thought, and then I loved my quiet walk. I had left the world behind me.

Enjoy April. And I will think of you as I eat cake…lots of it!!

Tags: Bev Pugh, brain, conscious, dominant, fears, focus, habit, happiness, mind, negative, positive, subconscious, thoughts
Posted in Choice, managing emotions