I create my own distress. I do it by getting caught up in my own stuff. I am an avid tennis player. I am good on the court. Actually, I’m quite good on the court. I am focusing on taking how I play tennis on the court to how I play life off the court. I figure that if I can be successful in one part of my life (tennis), I stand a really good chance of being successful in other parts of my life (personal).
My tennis game can be directly applied to life. I am very reactive in most aspects of my life. I am recognizing how unproductive this is. My patterns are often unconscious. My kids are upset, I react (mirror). This is not me at my best. If i stay with my game plan as a parent, then my kids won’t feed off my response. This will diffuse many unpleasant situations quickly.
With friends, I aspire to let them have their own stuff. I am working on not reacting. I am also working on realizing that it’s not about me…it’s their stuff. When I react emotionally, I lose control.
I’ve learned in tennis not to react to the antics of my opposition. I realized that when I react to what they are doing or saying, it weakens my game…which may be their goal!
When I react to my opposition, it shifts my focus from my game to their game. When I react to their stuff, I am validating it, making it the truth, when it often is not the truth. It might be their truth, but it doesn’t have to be mine.
When I react emotionally, I lose my skills. They are weakened by the adrenaline running through my body.
I am no longer in charge, when I react.
So am working on transferring how I play tennis to how I play life. My focus is to observe what’s going on and choose my response rather than getting emotionally sucked in and weakening myself.
It is great to have a hobby that we all enjoy with great passion and then apply that hobby to how we live our life.
