“Consider that people are like tea bags.
They don’t know their own strength
Until they get into hot water.” – Dan McKinnon
PHOTO CINDY GOODMAN
The North Shore News contacted me a few months ago and asked if they could interview me on the subject of STRESS. They were particularly concerned about how to manage stress in today’s society. They wrote the article and it was published in the North Shore News on March 9th. You can find the online version of the article here. You may notice that part of the article is a picture of me with a client. The “client” is my daughter who I hauled out of bed, and she is sitting in her pajamas pretending to be a client and completely stressed by it. How perfect was that?
I’d like to share more with you about this area of stress. Stress: the art of thriving or striving is pivotal for all of us and our health and well-being.
Stress in itself is not “bad”. It gets us moving and our adrenaline going. From this, great things can happen. The creator in us can take action. We can thrive because stress can help take us outside of our comfort zone. That’s where our greatest growth, and many of our new experiences can lie. I know for myself that many of my finest moments have been because I’ve stepped outside of my comfort zone to address a demand or an issue. Take a few moments to reflect on how stress has been your friend. Reflect on the times you stepped outside of your comfort zone, and an opportunity for growth and new experiences were there for you.
Distress is when we feel the demands are bigger than our resources or our coping ability. We can go into overwhelm, anxiety, worry, and exhaustion. If it continues for a prolonged period of time, true wear and tear happen. We don’t want chronicity. What is important for all of us is to avoid chronic stress. This creates havoc on our bodies. We want to move through the situation, rather than becoming stagnant in it. I often ask myself “am I moving through this or am I stuck and staying still in repetitive thoughts and behaviour?”
All of us have been there – more than once. When I am aware that I am stuck, it’s like a warning light coming on in a car when the gas is low. The oil light is flashing, and often that means that we get emotional or physical symptoms that are uncomfortable. These symptoms can be helpful if we take action on them. Often it’s a different action then what we have been taking on a repetitive basis.
Health is an ongoing process, not a goal that is ever reached. It is a daily journey. We are either taking steps towards it, or away from it.
There are so many ways of de-stressing. Let me share my two favourites.
The fundamental one is breath. So simple. We often forget about it or take it for granted. You may already be saying to yourself “I know, I know, I know.” If you are saying this then you probably need to keep breathing with more awareness as to how to use the power of breath. Whenever I say “I know I know”, it’s a warning light for me that I’m probably taking something for granted. I am still teaching myself about the power of breath. Conscious, Aware, Deep Breath is pivotal to stress management. By taking more oxygen into our bodies with each conscious breath, we increase our body’s vitality and energy. Quality and depth of our breath is fundamental to the health of our emotional system and our physical body.
I have trained myself to become very conscious of my breathing when dealing with stress. Remember, our breathing reflects how we feel. When sad, we often breathe in gasps. When under stress our breathing often becomes shallow and locked in our chests. When we are feeling good, our breathing often becomes deeper, slower, and more relaxed.
Breath takes us a long way in clearing tension and stress from our bodies, and calming our minds. I’ve described a breath exercise in the Daily Practice Section.
My other “go to” action step is becoming vigilant about what my mind is focusing on. If we are worried, our brains tend to focus completely on worry and look for evidence of the worry. If we are stressed about the “lack” of something (eg. beauty, money, comparisons), our minds tend to look for evidence of lack everywhere. Remember the Reticular Activation Centre (RAC). This is part of our brain that looks for evidence of what we are thinking. That is its job. This is an incredibly important feature of our brain. In the management of stress, we want to be in charge of the RAC system. This means that we are consciously deciding where our focus is.
There is a lot in the area of stress management about the importance of retraining our minds. Retraining means that we focus on the good stuff, finding the good stuff in the worry, or reframing the worry. The saying “what we focus on expands” is brilliant. Our thoughts do affect what we see, hear, and perceive. In the area of stress management, finding creative ways of retraining our minds is pivotal. It can also be fun. Stay playful and committed to this area.
Enjoy the month of June. Allow yourself to be more conscious of your style of breath and the focus of your mind. June can be a stressful month. Invite yourself to stay vigilant about bringing self care into this month.
