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Jan
12
2016

What Do You Stand For?

courage“Our true legacy is how we live our lives…not what we leave.” ~ Anonymous

This was a tough newsletter for me to write because once I wrote down what I stand for, four days later I realized “no, that’s not it.” I rewrote it four times! This simple inquiry really got a rumble going. So, this is it for now.

What we stand for is different than what our goals are. For me, what I stand for emanates from the deepest part of me. It is how I desire to be rather than to have.

When I became a parent my life changed overnight. It became really important to me that I gave these beautiful children a full spectrum of opportunity to value themselves, value others, and live a life to their fullest potential. I wanted to somehow contribute to that.

But how do we do that as parents?

It is one thing to ask ourselves, “What do I want to teach my children?”, and it’s quite another to ask, “What do I stand for?”. For me, this is one of those ‘going deep questions’; an inquiry that is useful for all of us. We all need clarity within ourselves, so our choices and behaviour can reflect that clarity.

What we stand for is different than what our goals are. For me, it is a vision that I hold that goes beyond goals and desires.

I stand for:

  • Courage
  • Compassion
  • Highest Potential
  • Service
  • Gratitude

Each one of these words is a way of life; a way of being and doing.

Courage to me is the courage to move forward outside of my comfort zone where there is attachment and familiarity. It is moving into the new, into what I truly desire for myself. It involves walking through fears. Perseverance and commitment are important friends during this phase.

Compassion is valuing myself wholeheartedly and valuing others. Compassion starts with self-compassion. As I dare to move forward, I hold compassion for myself rather than judgement. I hold this way of being for others.

Highest Potential is an integral part of what I stand for with myself and for others. That is why I love my work. My wish is that I am fully integrated and the highest part of me is what directs me. When we argue with different parts of ourselves, it drains a lot of energy. Therefore, we are not being integrated. We are scattered and we exhaust ourselves. Full Integration and Highest Potential. That is what I stand for.

Service is important to me because in my heart, I believe in community. We all need the support of one another.

Gratitude is the cornerstone of how I look at life. For me, it is a way of being rather than a feeling I have when I receive what I’m asking for. Gratitude keeps my heart open and when my heart is open, I grow as I keep experiencing new forms of awareness in each moment.

I once heard someone say, “How I participate in every part of life determines its value.” So true!

In this early part of 2016, reflect on what you stand for. This is our foundation from which we can move forward. This is what we pass on to our children. In our dense consumer driven world, it is easy to spend the whole time swimming in the waters of buying more things.

We often think of legacy as to what things we are leaving. For our loved ones, legacy is much vaster than that, and far more powerful.

I know for myself becoming a parent was the best thing that has ever happened to me. It lifted me to place of increased accountability to myself. This is not about judging ourselves in any way. This is about looking at life and living it from a place of inspiration and clarity.

Invite yourself to ponder. Ponder what you stand for. This is our true legacy.

Have a great year everyone!

Tags: behaviour, being, Beverley Pugh, commitment, compassion, courage, potential, service
Posted in awareness, Choice, Feeling Gratitude, forgiveness, Gentleness, Health and Happiness | 12 Comments »

May
13
2014

Courage to Create a New Storyline by Dan Beauvais

Nelson MandelaNelson Mandela was an individual that always inspired me. He shifted our consciousness around the need for equality and freedom despite our differences.

One of the qualities that I admired in Nelson Mandela was his courage. He was quoted as saying “The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall”. I see courage in all its forms in my life, and in my counseling work. The courage to find hope, the courage to be vulnerable, the courage to try something new, the courage to talk about your feelings, etc.

I encourage you watch Eleanor Longden’s TED talk on Hearing Voices in Her Head. Eleanor is an individual who hears voices. Our scientific community would label her has “suffering” from schizophrenia. When you listen to Eleanor she does not come across as a person that appears to be suffering or should be considered sick. She is a person that has had the courage to understand the voices she hears, and how to manage them. Without the courage to think differently and challenge entrenched old school mental health thinking, she would not be living such a successful life.

In Narrative work, despite how people feel when they present themselves in counseling, there are always unique moments of success, joy, and courage that they don’t notice in their lives. Reclaiming these unique outcomes, and constructing a new storyline of resiliency and hope, can be the foundation for change in people’s lives.

Tags: courage, Dan Beauvais, hope, joy, life, Nelson Mandela, resiliency, success
Posted in Health and Happiness, holding power, Self Growth | 2 Comments »

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Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

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Mastery Practice Tool

If I feel funky, I know that I have closed down in some way. I probably reacted to one of my thoughts, or to what someone was saying. I actually ask or direct my heart energy to open again by saying this out loud: "My heart is open in the front and the back, and my mind in one with my heart. My heart is connected to the highest part of me." I imagine something I love - often swimming in the ocean - and I savour the love of it so I can feel my heart open again. I have turned my focus to it, and directed my heart energy to open. I do this before I begin an activity, or see anyone that for some reason feel I may be reactive towards. A tip: I have been known to do it in the bathroom when I am taking a break from dynamics, and I come out feeling more open and wiser. This works! The bathroom is a great place to bring yourself back into balance!!

Testimonial

Our ability, as parents, to support our children to thrive in stressful situations is becoming more and more important. Children need very specific tools in their self regulation 'tool kits' that they can draw upon to support their success, and trusted adults to coach them in their use. But what are these tools and how to we teach them effectively to our kids?

Thankfully, there is Beverley Pugh! Bev takes a curious and calm approach to supporting children and parents with this journey. She is passionately invested in teaching parents and children ways to reduce anxiety and approach life positively and confidently. Bev is a master of her craft - she draws on years of her own experience as a parent and counsellor to work effectively and respectfully with children and their parents. I have thoroughly enjoyed Bev's recent workshops for parents and children and recommend them to anyone willing to explore specific strategies to help their children thrive at home, at school and in their community.

Lani M. - Parent and Elementary School Principal

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About Beverley

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

Contact

Telephone:
604-925-1513
Email:
bev@beverleypugh.com
Location:
120-1451 Marine Drive
West Vancouver, BC
V7T 1B8
Canada

Disclaimer: The information presented on this site about various psychological conditions, is of a general nature and is not a substitute for an assessment by a competent therapist and/or medical professional. If you believe that you or an important person in your life is in need of an intervention please seek qualified help as soon as possible.

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