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May
13
2014

Judgement by Dan Beauvais

gentleness“History is your friend, planning for the future can be very productive; Judgment hurts.” – Dan Beauvais

I’ve heard a lot of discussion around the importance of staying present. I personally feel that in order to be happy and well in the present, you must connect positively with the past and the future. Our past is filled with positive experiences and behaviors that are essential to living well now. And I’ve always found it beneficial to have a plan for the future and work towards goals.

Where I find people struggle with the past and the future is when these landscapes are suffused with judgment. From the crib on we hear stories of judgment all the time; “Someone is at fault”; someone did something wrong”. When we get practiced at pointing the finger at others, we become very good at pointing back at ourselves. Indeed, it is difficult to have compassion for others when we are so used to being critical.

Regardless of where you are located, past, present or future, when you engage in self-deprecating self-talk you sabotage any possibility for joy and happiness.

One of the foundational principles in non-violent communication work is learning how to suspend judgment in how you speak to others and to yourself. Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of nonviolent communication, writes that when we speak to others or ourselves “we judge others and their behavior while preoccupying ourselves with whose good, bad, normal, abnormal, responsible, irresponsible, smart, ignorant, etc.”  We engage in this continual dialogue of critique.

Judgment can paralyze us from accomplishing our goal of living a preferred life and alienate those we love. Don’t be afraid of bringing the past forward or thinking about the future, just make sure that you learn to suspend judgment.

Tags: communication, Dan Beauvais, future, goal, happiness, joy, judgement, life, love, past, present, sabotage
Posted in Gentleness, Health and Happiness, Love | No Comments »

May
13
2014

Courage to Create a New Storyline by Dan Beauvais

Nelson MandelaNelson Mandela was an individual that always inspired me. He shifted our consciousness around the need for equality and freedom despite our differences.

One of the qualities that I admired in Nelson Mandela was his courage. He was quoted as saying “The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall”. I see courage in all its forms in my life, and in my counseling work. The courage to find hope, the courage to be vulnerable, the courage to try something new, the courage to talk about your feelings, etc.

I encourage you watch Eleanor Longden’s TED talk on Hearing Voices in Her Head. Eleanor is an individual who hears voices. Our scientific community would label her has “suffering” from schizophrenia. When you listen to Eleanor she does not come across as a person that appears to be suffering or should be considered sick. She is a person that has had the courage to understand the voices she hears, and how to manage them. Without the courage to think differently and challenge entrenched old school mental health thinking, she would not be living such a successful life.

In Narrative work, despite how people feel when they present themselves in counseling, there are always unique moments of success, joy, and courage that they don’t notice in their lives. Reclaiming these unique outcomes, and constructing a new storyline of resiliency and hope, can be the foundation for change in people’s lives.

Tags: courage, Dan Beauvais, hope, joy, life, Nelson Mandela, resiliency, success
Posted in Health and Happiness, holding power, Self Growth | 2 Comments »

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Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

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Mastery Practice Tool

The Matrix

Imagine a house with many rooms. Each room has a door. Pick a door and go into that room. In that room are the feelings and experiences you chose when you chose that door. So choose the door and the room. If it doesn't feel good, pick another door and another room. I did this continually when my dog died. I went into the room of guilt, and of course that is the feeling I would experience. So I went back and chose another door, one of gratitude, or joy. When we choose this way, it doesn't mean we suppress our sadness or emotions. But to move on we must bring in choice, by consciously choosing the feelings we want to experience. Be aware of a thought that holds guilt. If you want to release this thought, then consciously chose another door in your house. We experience what we choose. I love the door analogy! Reflection and choice are powerful.

Testimonial

Bev's Laughing and Breathing Belly Workshop for Children was one of the best I have attended. She has a gifted ability to gently connect with children and teach and share with them her techniques of belly breathing, rooting, mind vacations and laughter. These techniques soothe and calm them whenever they feel overwhelmed or anxious - be at school, home or before bed time. Whether you have an overwhelmed pre-schooler or a test-anxious pre-teen, Bev's approach works! I love that she gave parents the tools to model and share these fundamentals of meditation with their children. I would encourage families to take her course...your children will thank you and you will benefit from ways to keep yourself calm and allow wisdom in.

Farrah J. - Mother of 3, West Vancouver

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About Beverley

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

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Telephone:
604-925-1513
Email:
bev@beverleypugh.com
Location:
120-1451 Marine Drive
West Vancouver, BC
V7T 1B8
Canada

Disclaimer: The information presented on this site about various psychological conditions, is of a general nature and is not a substitute for an assessment by a competent therapist and/or medical professional. If you believe that you or an important person in your life is in need of an intervention please seek qualified help as soon as possible.

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