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Nov
10
2015

The Topic of an Argument Isn’t Always Important

couples talkingI have a husband and two kids under the age of 6. I would dread it when my husband would come home. He would get the kids all excited and they would be late for bed. I would have to mop up the mess the next day. We rarely argued, and after a while we emotionally separated from one another. Our marriage suffered.

Our learning came from understanding how when I talked to him, I spoke with authority as though I had more power than him. When he talked to me, he spoke as a troublesome child. We went on for a long time like this.

We went to counselling to sort out the bedtime issues, and concluded that it was due to the way we were treating one another. Both of us felt the other had pushed us to being so terrible. I also learned that this was my way of not taking responsibility for my contribution. That was a big one for me. We had a lot of sorting out to do and most of it was the way we treated each other rather than the particular topic at hand. It was so very helpful. I hope others will find this helpful. – Virginia

 

Tags: acceptance, choice, Counselling, emotions, family, marriage, power, responsibility
Posted in awareness, Choice, forgiveness, healing, Health and Happiness, Love, Relationships | No Comments »

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

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Mastery Practice Tool

Using Pictures Rather Than Words

It is true that a picture in our mind is very powerful. It is more powerful than a paragraph of self-talk. Both the subconscious and the conscious mind respond to a picture, especially if it is encoded with emotions. If you want to increase the part of you that has a desire to live differently, then I encourage you to find images that you can hold in your mind or imagination as a way of reprogramming.

For me, there is power associated with this picture: I see a stick shift gear in my mind (encoded with love for my Dad). It tells me to navigate with alertness and self care both for myself, and those around me. A picture really does say a thousand words.

Reflect on your experiences in life. Find a memory that holds the power of alertness and self-accountability; one of successfully navigating or being engaged in self-care. Allow that picture to be embedded in your mind by imagining it, and feeling the emotion that goes with it. For me it is power and self-accountability. When you feel the feeling that goes with the picture, you embed it in your subconscious and conscious mind. Now you are reprogramming!

Testimonial

Our ability, as parents, to support our children to thrive in stressful situations is becoming more and more important. Children need very specific tools in their self regulation 'tool kits' that they can draw upon to support their success, and trusted adults to coach them in their use. But what are these tools and how to we teach them effectively to our kids?

Thankfully, there is Beverley Pugh! Bev takes a curious and calm approach to supporting children and parents with this journey. She is passionately invested in teaching parents and children ways to reduce anxiety and approach life positively and confidently. Bev is a master of her craft - she draws on years of her own experience as a parent and counsellor to work effectively and respectfully with children and their parents. I have thoroughly enjoyed Bev's recent workshops for parents and children and recommend them to anyone willing to explore specific strategies to help their children thrive at home, at school and in their community.

Lani M. - Parent and Elementary School Principal

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About Beverley

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

Contact

Telephone:
604-925-1513
Email:
bev@beverleypugh.com
Location:
120-1451 Marine Drive
West Vancouver, BC
V7T 1B8
Canada

Disclaimer: The information presented on this site about various psychological conditions, is of a general nature and is not a substitute for an assessment by a competent therapist and/or medical professional. If you believe that you or an important person in your life is in need of an intervention please seek qualified help as soon as possible.

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