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Dec
12
2016

Gold Threads

Silver christmas tree“Undo your corset and let’s celebrate.” ~Bev Pugh

It warms my hearts to say the word celebration. Throughout my earlier years I saw celebration as an activity; something you do. I would dress up, go out, kick up my heels and celebrate. It was in reaction to something good happening. Now in my growing wisdom I see it as a way of being; as a way of living our lives…and it is not dependent on an external situation. It is inside of all of us, all the time. For me, it is a conscious choice. I don’t’ wait for something to happen. It is a way of thinking and feeling that I have learned through my own personal growth. It “trumps” worry and fear.

I have brought a whole new meaning to the word celebrate. It has taken me years to really get this one, but I have it now. I know that true health and happiness is an inward state of being, rather than looking to our circumstances to dictate whether we celebrate or not. Like gratitude, celebration is a state of being. It is a way of life, an opening of the heart and an invitation to look for the gold threads, or positive aspects, that run through each moment.

I have discovered there is always a gold thread, even if it is not at all obvious in the present moment. When I can’t find one, I turn to the word patience. It will show itself. It’s like whenever I lose my watch. I know with patience it will show itself. Gold threads become obvious over time.

Trusting there is a gold thread can be a big ask and challenge for many of us. It’s easy to do when things are going our way, but not so easy when we have strong emotions about what has happened. Yet, if we turn our “noticers” within, we can look for and focus on at least one positive aspect.

Now don’t get me wrong. That doesn’t mean that we deny our feelings in the moment. But if we shift our focus, we can respect all the aspects in that moment.

For me, this is not a mental activity, it is a feeling deep inside like a thermometer that is set at my willingness to find a moment of celebration in the present. Can you imagine what our lives would be like if celebration was our pivot point, rather than negativity or distraction. We humans major in the latter. It is part of our wiring that we need to change to really grow on all levels – physical, emotional, mental, and philosophical or spiritual.

This Christmas season, I invite all of you to embrace the feeling of celebration inside of yourself. Rather than making this celebration time about external activities, feel the feeling of true appreciation inside of you. What does that feel like for you? Are you connected to the feeling or too busy?

It’s a beautiful season with the lights, the music, and the open hearts. It is a very fertile time for us to practice turning our attention inside to our hearts and feeling the feeling of celebration…a deep appreciation and gratitude.

This month is a great month for remembering what it feels to celebrate. Move the feeling to inside of you and breathe it into your body and heart. Invite it to be a way of life!

Happy December everyone! Have a special month, and be kind to yourself by pacing yourself.

Tags: Bev Pugh, breathe, celebration, heart, life, moment, present
Posted in Feeling Gratitude | No Comments »

Feb
09
2016

My Resistance is Kicking Up!

“Nature turns manure into flowers, compost into gardens, our stuff into our highest potential.” ~ Bev Pugh and a fortune cookie

3 heartsAfter having written What do I stand For in January, I was energized with inspiration. I had brought more clarity into my life about what I really stand for. For me it is courage, compassion, highest potential, service, and gratitude. There are times when the tools in my beautiful tool kit seem not to be that effective. When this happens, there are three avenues with which I guide myself to get back on track and to reconnect with myself. We all go through waves of resistance. We can be so locked into habit. It is part of being human! It is one thing to create a vision that feels so right and it is another to live it. My philosophy with myself is that resistance can visit but it doesn’t have to stay. Here is what I do.

Firstly, I watch Bob Newhart. It’s a 2 ½ minute clip and here is the link:

https://youtu.be/LhQGzeiYS_Q

I encourage you to take a breath and click the link to watch a beautiful demonstration of how we move into tough love with ourselves. As parents, we do this with our kids. In psychology, we talk about “thought stopping”. It is a way of being firm with ourselves. We direct ourselves by imagining a huge red stop sign in our minds eye when habitual thoughts start talking and overtaking our mind. This gives us a chance to take a deep breath and have a moment of choice. Once we have clarity around what we stand for, we then have the choice of holding that direction. Don’t forget that all of us are human and our humanness kicks in at times. Resistance occurs when we want to stay in our comfort zones. We think we are safe there. The truth is that our comfort zone provides us with an artificial feeling of safety.

Secondly, another theme is remembering what is important for me. I then bring that focus into the moment. It is so easy to forget as we get busy. So, this is what I do so I stay in charge. I create a secret symbol that is just for me, which represents what I stand for. It represents the words and the spirit and essence. Right now, it is the Sun. I have a beautiful little picture of the sun and I put it on a little card and I can carry it everywhere. It symbolizes everything, so when I look at it, I just remember. It is a lot easier than talking to myself and I find it more powerful. I also imagine a little sun in the corner of my vision as I interact with the world, so I have my secret way of remembering. It is actually very powerful. After a while, I change the symbol because it doesn’t carry the same power of inspiration anymore. It becomes a bit old, so I then will create another symbol. Usually, this new symbol appears when I am doing something such as when I am dog walking in the mountains. I say to myself “Oh, there it is! My new symbol!”

Thirdly, I find the single biggest obstacle for self-growth is judgment. We all can be hard on ourselves for forgetting and slipping. It is one thing to be annoyed with ourselves and another to judge ourselves as being less than because we make mistakes. Compassion is the fuel we want to be using, self-compassion. For me, it is a combination of self-compassion and firmness. It’s that kind of ‘tough love’ parent approach that we can use for ourselves.

Resistance is an opportunity. An opportunity to weed our mental gardens!

Be aware of your resistance rather than collapsing into it.

Have a special month!

Tags: Bev Pugh, breath, compassion, focus, habit, judgement, love, mistakes, moment, resistance, self-growth
Posted in awareness, Balance, Self Growth | 4 Comments »

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Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

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About Beverley

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

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Telephone:
604-925-1513
Email:
bev@beverleypugh.com
Location:
120-1451 Marine Drive
West Vancouver, BC
V7T 1B8
Canada

Disclaimer: The information presented on this site about various psychological conditions, is of a general nature and is not a substitute for an assessment by a competent therapist and/or medical professional. If you believe that you or an important person in your life is in need of an intervention please seek qualified help as soon as possible.

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