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Feb
12
2017

My Experience of Self-Love

love

“The way I see myself and feel about myself affects my relationship with every other person.” ~ Bev Pugh

I know for myself, my confidence and my ability to listen to inner wisdom are all influenced immensely by my relationship with myself. I believe that is a truth for us all. Do we really love ourselves, or is our relationship with ourselves conditional? For most of us it is conditional. Conditional on how successful we are, how attractive, how talented, how popular, etc.

Many of us are parents, desire to be parents one day, or are mentoring our children who are parents. There is so much wisdom we can have access to when we are parenting our children from a place of accepting ourselves. We are more than ‘good enough’ and our children are more than ‘good enough’.

The word love that we hear so much about, is a deep intrinsic love for ourselves that is not based on performance or outside expectations of what is socially acceptable.

It is on the basis of self-love that change is built. This is our foundation. Everything else is “trying” and “good intentions”. The foundation is all about loving ourselves unconditionally which means with our warts and patterns and gifts ..the whole “enchilada “. I really encourage you to turn your focus inwards to your heart for yourself.

I truly believe that when we love ourselves, we are able to love others in a way that is not conditional or holding judgement.

I invite you, this month of February, to be your own valentine and nurture your capacity to love yourself unconditionally with all your ‘stuff’. We are all human. Don’t let your past be a reason for you not cultivating a true sense of unconditional self-love.

This is big stuff. And so are we!!!

Remember: what we bring to our relationships, is what we experience inside of us.

Keep your focus on your heart and know that the truth is that we all have the same beautiful intrinsic value.

Tags: Bev Pugh, children, heart, judgement, love, parents, relationship, self, unconditionally, wisdom
Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

Feb
08
2014

Love

love“Who loves ya baby?” ~ Kojak

I grew up with the last name “Pugh”. That was a tough beginning. When I was growing up, the kids really teased me on that. They would hold their noses and pretend I was a skunk. We had a motorboat when I was growing up. We loved to water-ski. My dad got a skunk flag and put it on the boat. That sealed my fate. The teasing continued.

As I went through life, learning to love myself fully and unconditionally was my biggest wish, which then became my priority. I went through all of the stages and experiences of conditional love, with acceptance from others being the reward if I did “good”. It never occurred to me that I already had intrinsic value. I thought I had to do something, prove something, or improve something.

Most of us grow up with the message to be a “good” girl or boy, as if who we are is not good enough. Our parents meant well, but the message can be that we have to “do something” to be good; like cleaning our room, getting good grades, dressing right, being good at what we do. There can be a conditional underlay to all of this. As a child, we can feel that we have to please others in order to feel accepted. We can spend our lives trying to find or prove our worth.

We may be able to get the intellectual concept of loving ourselves, but how do we move to feeling it, to experiencing it? That’s where true growth lies. Just try one sincere moment with yourself where loving yourself matters more than anything else.

  • What would that look like?
  • What would that feel like?

Close your eyes for a moment and feel the love that you have for someone very special, then take a deep breath and imagine yourself receiving that same kind of love. That feeling of love comes from you to you. It’s not about “finding” love, it’s about “giving” love, and for that we start with fueling our own emotional tank for ourselves.

Maybe having the surname “Pugh” was the best thing that ever happened to me. It allowed me to find what’s good about me because it certainly wasn’t in the name!

Happy Valentine’s to us all.

Tags: Bev Pugh, feelings, giving, growth, love, ourselves, self
Posted in Health and Happiness, Love, Parenting, Self Growth | 2 Comments »

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

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Mastery Practice Tool

Using Pictures Rather Than Words

It is true that a picture in our mind is very powerful. It is more powerful than a paragraph of self-talk. Both the subconscious and the conscious mind respond to a picture, especially if it is encoded with emotions. If you want to increase the part of you that has a desire to live differently, then I encourage you to find images that you can hold in your mind or imagination as a way of reprogramming.

For me, there is power associated with this picture: I see a stick shift gear in my mind (encoded with love for my Dad). It tells me to navigate with alertness and self care both for myself, and those around me. A picture really does say a thousand words.

Reflect on your experiences in life. Find a memory that holds the power of alertness and self-accountability; one of successfully navigating or being engaged in self-care. Allow that picture to be embedded in your mind by imagining it, and feeling the emotion that goes with it. For me it is power and self-accountability. When you feel the feeling that goes with the picture, you embed it in your subconscious and conscious mind. Now you are reprogramming!

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My daughter, Trinity, attended her first Children’s Empowerment Workshop and she loved it! It has helped her deal with some of the real anxieties that all children go through - from the not so nice kid at school, to the imagination that runs away with her at night time, when we are getting ready for bed.

She practices her rooting and the different breathing techniques that she has learned, and has become stronger and more confident in dealing with different situations.

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About Beverley

Beverley Pugh has international experience in Individual, Marital and Family Therapist services. Areas of practice include counselling in: individual, couples, family, anxiety, addictions, grief, depression, pain management, multicultural, workplace and others.

Contact

Telephone:
604-925-1513
Email:
bev@beverleypugh.com
Location:
120-1451 Marine Drive
West Vancouver, BC
V7T 1B8
Canada

Disclaimer: The information presented on this site about various psychological conditions, is of a general nature and is not a substitute for an assessment by a competent therapist and/or medical professional. If you believe that you or an important person in your life is in need of an intervention please seek qualified help as soon as possible.

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