I have a husband and two kids under the age of 6. I would dread it when my husband would come home. He would get the kids all excited and they would be late for bed. I would have to mop up the mess the next day. We rarely argued, and after a while we emotionally separated from one another. Our marriage suffered.
Our learning came from understanding how when I talked to him, I spoke with authority as though I had more power than him. When he talked to me, he spoke as a troublesome child. We went on for a long time like this.
We went to counselling to sort out the bedtime issues, and concluded that it was due to the way we were treating one another. Both of us felt the other had pushed us to being so terrible. I also learned that this was my way of not taking responsibility for my contribution. That was a big one for me. We had a lot of sorting out to do and most of it was the way we treated each other rather than the particular topic at hand. It was so very helpful. I hope others will find this helpful. –Â Virginia